Monday, August 19, 2013

Heavy Rains Again From Monsoon

Ang lakas ng ulan ngayong gabi. Ilang gabi bago mag piyesta. Sa piyesta muli akong babalik dito sa Laguna upang ipagdiwang ang matimyas na araw. Buong Linggo kasi akong mamamalagi sa Las Pinas para makumpleto ang mga requirements na kailangang i-submit. Mabuti na lang kamo pwedeng "to follow" na lang ang form 137 at ang birth certificate.

pero dahil jam pack ang schedule dito sa weekdays, hindi ko mapigilan na maging mas excited para sa Sabado. Kung matutuloy ang buong tropa sa pag uwi sa piyesta, sobrang saya nun! Sila Aizee, Kyle, at Lou pa lang solve na ang ingay eh. Ano pa kaya kung kasama sila TonTon, Chester, at si Jonard? Syempre hindi mawawala ang mga kasama sa bahay.

Hindi ko lang alam kung magiging katulad nung nakaraang Biyernes ng madaling araw ang inuman sa piyesta. Noon kasing Biyernes, naginuman sa bahay. Hindi ako kasali, kailangan ko kasi ng kumpletong tulog para sa medical ko noong araw na iyon. Hindi rin puwedeng may alkohol ako sa katawan. Nanood sila ng The Vow sa laptop. Si Aizee kasi nagpapagawa ng reaction paper kay Ron kaya in-upload yung movie sa laptop. Iyon marahil ang dahilan kaya naging sentimental ang mga lasing. Ang topic tungkol sa love ang pu***. Hindi na nga ako nakatulog. Nakisali na lang ako sa usapan. Nag share ng konsepto namin about love.

Kung iisipin mo, tama naman si Royce; hindi ka maaaring pumili ng isang "the best" sa mga naging love mo. Lahat sila the best in their own special ways.

Napakahalaga ng PREP. Ang problema sa inuman, hindi natatapos ang discussion kasi hindi nasusunod ang PREP method. Kapag naihain na lahat ng tindig, dapat mag wrap up na sa pamamagitan ng paglalagom. Sa inuman, walang tagapagbuod. Free flowing ang ideya. Puwede kayong magsolo ng kwentuhan ng katabi mo o puwedeng may magbangka. Asahan mong may sasabat sa'yo. Matatapos lang ang discussion kapag lugapay na ang mga nagtotoma. o kaya'y naubos na ang Empi Lights.

How I wish ako ang naatasang magbuod. Ipapaliwanang ko yung hindi nila pinansin na explanation ko about love. Na ang pagibig ang nagpapakatao sa tao. Kung hindi siya magmamahal, nagwawala siya. Samakatwid, para bagang, ang pagibig ang paraan upang makapagmeron ang isang tao.

At dahil nga sobrang bigat ng nakaraang usapan kaya naging light ang tanghali ng August 16. Duamting si Seph at Tita Edna sa Aventus sa kalagitnaan ng araw habang hinihintay ko ang physical exam ko. At totoong pinagaan ni Tita Edna ang araw ko. Tawa lang kami ng tawa pagkatapos mai-submit ang B.I.R. form at medical.

Si Mei? Ayun, miss ko na siya. Ang teacher ko na mas bata pa sa akin. Hay... tama talaga si Steve Jobs. Darating ang panahon, isa isang masasagot ang tanong mo na parang linya sa mga dots na pinagdudugtongdugtong mo. Ngayon, nagsisimula na ngang masagot ang mga tanong kung bakit ang haba ng paghihintay ko bago ako nakalunsad. Kailangan ko pala talga maghintay dahil kung napaaga, hindi ko makikilala sila Aizee, Elaine, Seph, at Kyle. At hindi ko matatagpo si Mei na napakalaki ng naitulong sa aking pagunlad. Binuksan ang isip ko sa mga pagbabago at hinikayat ako na tumapang. Oo katulad kay Ma'am Nikki mahapdi ang ilang tagpo sa paghulma niya sa akin. Rough days ika nga. Pero mas nangibabaw yung respeto ko s akanya bilang tao at guro. At pangarap ko na mahigitan yun sa sandaling magkita kami ng scion ko.

Na-realize ko sa nagdaang buwan na ang sarap pa ring mag aral. At nakakatuwa na may clause sa contract na maaaring magpatuloy sa pagaaral ang mga empleyado. Oo, mag aaral pa ako. Hindi pa tapos ang hangarin kong matuto. Ang dami pang dapat makita at matutunan upang maging buo ako para sa mga anak ko, sa taong sasanayin ko, sa Pilipinas at sa sangkatauhan. Alam ko na tinawag akong maging bahagi ng kasaysayan. Pinanghahawakan ko iyon. At ang lahat ng ito, paghahanda patungo roon.


Thursday, August 15, 2013

Always Your Lucky Guy

Happiest day? Yes it is. I signed my contract yesterday. I am now officially a working class citizen. Not as prestigious as one may expect of a guy like me but there is a right time for everything. Definitely, a right time to be somebody. As of now, let's begin our way going to the top from here, from the bottom. There is nothing wrong with this. Vectors are always from one point to a better point. And I am not someone ignorant of vectors.

August 15. The day that I will forever love. We had our feast day celebration when we were in third year being part of the OLA class of 2002. That happened eleven years ago in Bukid Garden---a wonderful experience. Ma'am Jem and the rest of my classmates, ooh I can't forget. It happened exactly the same day as today---Thursday. The music of 2002 brought a lot of spice to the August memory. I'd Rather by Luther Vandross; Shoulda Woulda Coulda by Beverly Knight; I Need A Girl by Usher and P. Diddy; No Such Thing by John Mayer; Are You In by Incubus; Stigmatized by The Calling; Hero by Chad Kroeger; Rainy Days by Ja Rule and Mary J Blidge; Best of Me by Blue; Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch and It's Gonna Be Love by Mandy Moore... what else can be as exclaiming?

Last year, my August 15 was highlighted by the movie of Quen and friends---The Reunion. One of the best movies of that year. That Wednesday was rainy. Rainne made in Rainny. I just can't believe it is now one year after that. That evening, after spending an hour in a computer shop, I watched the finale of Glee Project where Blake Jenner was crowned winner. Then the phone call which lasted for the entire night and welcomed the dawn of Aug 16.

Better days ahead? We'll see. I can't say that it is not. I have a lucrative income now. That's a source of great joy and yes today is Our Lady of Assumption. However the quality of life that I will have to face starting September 16 is kind of rough. I will have to bear the sleepless nights and days without being a couch fanatic, where I can just eat pizza before the TV set. I am so happy that supportive friends came along and why do they all have to be younger. I do not know. Kyle, Aizee, Joseph, Kieth and even Elaine all ranges from 21-23. And I am not that young anymore. Fritz will join their club as he comes August 24. Are these all a sign?

Whatever it is. I am grateful for them coming into my life. A new zest perhaps and a new frame of mind to cultivate. Don't worry. God will be extremely generous to give the expected abundance.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

That August When She Dreamed About Me

Hi August!!!!!

Finally, momentous and arduous July is over, leaving plenty of realizations behind. Now we want August to be nice to us. AUGUST seems to be my favorite month of the year in spite of the negative preconceptions about it. They say it's ghost month or the month of storms but I have a lot to be thankful about this/ every August.

It's the 14th day of the training. Technically, last day of classes. Next MONDAY is evaluation day. I am so glad 09 is declared a holiday because of eid'l. I am now at home, enjoying the breeze of the province. Just yesterday, Aizee surprised us about his birthday. And there is a plan of celebrating it next Saturday. That would be tomorrow. Aizee is a lover of music. We are currently enjoying almost all types of music together. What particularly links to him is the song Sa Langit which he introduced to me. Though I still can't get over the death of Dra. Andrea Veneracion or simply Ma'am OA.[ tomorrow will be one month after she died] I cannot write a tribute for her up to now because August became busier than July. So is actor turned singer Cory Monteith who also died days after Ma'am OA. Musicians and artist can say goodbye when it's July but the memory lives on. More festivals for music are now being done in honor of Ma'am OA. And tomorrow I'll be attending one which will be facilitated by Ryan Cayabyab.

I am excited to go out with either Wind or Vien one of these days. Even drink coffee with Jus after a meeting. Or simply celebrate with my wavemates after graduating from the training and before facing the working season.

There's a lot to do this week. A lot which happened last week. More to come by next month. There seem to be no space for me to play "TREASURE" or True Love by Pink. Robin Thicke is not yet part of the plan. Blurred Lines has never covered the entire world yet. But it never stops playing in my head. Good thing that I never really liked We Can't Stop because it may not stop also in my mind had I liked it. How can you love somebody when you are so in love with Maroon 5's "Love Somebody"? And how can you imagine the future if you keep on imagining Imagine Dragons? When you hear Icona Pop singing I Love It or Ciara with her Body Party, how do you feel?

No, I haven't mentioned that tonight is the concert of Fall Out Boys here in Manila. The front act would be Gabby Alipe's band Urbandub. FOB will be singing their latest hit which is really a wonder, My Song Knows What you Did in the Dark. I use to play this song after playing Rihanna's Stay. We are waiting for Mumford and Sons to do a concert here, singing their song Hopeless Wanderer. So also with Before YOU Exit who sings A Little More. Did I say that there is a new one from Kings of Leon called Super Soaker? They are great.

IT' AUGUST and it's music month. WE ALL NEED TO HEAR IT. As mush as we heard the music of long ago during this month.

By the way I am playing Over the Love by Florence and the Machine. [there is no way we can honor Ma'am OA than do as many musical acts as she wants us to when she was alive].

Friday, July 26, 2013

Corequisite

It's me here in Laguna. To lay my back once again and take a long rest from a busy week schedule that passed. it's day five of the course. We just finished our evaluation day. It's been a long week for me and for the others. It might be tiring, mind boggling, and trembling but all the while it is inspiring and fun. It has been a long time since I was inspired by a woman intellectually. The last time was in 2007 when I was still under the tutelage of Ma'am Nikki. Yet, my English instructor is just half the age of Ma'am Nikki. She's extraordinaire. Reaching this far at an early age. I can't help but envy her most of the time because we are just in the same age bracket and look where she is now and where am I. I'm her student, she my teacher. Now I am more enforced to imagine what if I immediately looked for a job after graduation. I could have had a car already or i could have married Faye last year or this year with enough money to realize her dream wedding. Not like this.

"Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid."

Now this lines from Invictus is becoming more meaningful to me. There are so many plans. There are so many uncertainties. There seem to be more shades of clouds on my way to finish line but I will make all those things my inspiration. Not to mention those persons who believe in me and a lending their hands now to help me. I will draw courage from them. My supportive Mom. My ever reliable best-friend [yes even in financial matters], my cute little ones {Trish, Alen, Santi and Galan], and the learning experiences I had from the sages [Sir Peter, Mr. Tubaña, Ma'am Nikki and Sir Arwin]. Perhaps, in the coming days i will draw more inspiration from my instructor. Given ample time, when she reach Ma'am Nikki's age, she might be able to outdo the CCP-PAD Primadonna.

The city is becoming my new home. My team mates now becoming the new set of friends. It used to be Rand, but Seph is now becoming my new clown. Uncertainties becoming my new hopes. Sometimes i'm afraid to ask myself so I'll just ask God. Where will the money for the rest of the program come from? Will I be present during the August long weekend feast? Will I be able to make it to the company? All these become hanging questions now. I resolve to just enjoy the days to come and accept whatever decision that may affect me. All with open arms and a hopeful spirit. Whatever happens I'll make sure I turn out to be a better person.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

New Discoveries About Me

It's when you are challenged by the detours that your true character is tested.

I am embarking on a new journey. Loads are becoming heavier and familiar faces suddenly would disappear. Schedules which were too comfortable are soon to be depleted. I am not doomed, I am stretching a horizon. I am nervous, yes, but more eager than nervous. It is when you're looking at the same sun but on another floor of the house, on another side of the field.

Tuesday, I decided to give it all my guts and be in Manila to do what I must have done three years ago. It makes me sad that every Sunday now I WOULDN'T be able to see my unclaimed son as he sat a pew away from mine. It's quite unlucky that even breakfasts, lunches and dinners will now move away from where they were fixed in my clock. It's sad though that I wouldn't be able to comment to Jus' and Trish's status every single second of the day. Well, it is the new life. For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't be on my way up if I don't do this now. So better make use of this time for enjoying the preparation than use tomorrows fortune in fixing what was broken.

I am meeting new friends. I am learning new skills. I am familiarizing new avenues. Aren't they enough reasons to be grateful for despite the troubles that I am giving up for myself now?

And if I miss portion's of my favorite TV series, aren't the previous ones which I finished conclusively enough to suffice the lack? If I cannot be present where there are occasions to fulfill weren't I showed up in JanJan's wedding last Saturday to complete my bliss? If I won't have the chance now to meet Sheldon, Lorraine, Martee, Alen and my unclaimed son quite often or permanently, isn't this mess all for the future of my true sons and daughters? Or for the future bonding hang outs which I will have with them in the next next years to come?

A change in my environment doesn't necessarily mean a change in my entirety. I will still love the same persons and I will still value the same items and ideas. I will still be the person that I AM. Only that I am innovating my persona to becoming the better version you will ever find. I will not try to surpass my Master--- Mr. Tubaña's is too large a shoe to fill. I will not try to surpass him because I CANNOT. I will simply improve myself in the way enough for my proteges and future children to be proud of me.

I'm doing this for them, but mainly for me. I Should make it up for myself for all the times I wasted in hovering in Lara Faye's shadow. Who knows, in the end it may turn out like I did this for her.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Reign Beyond Sunshine

Humming happy birthday tune to Arthel as she turns a year older.
Ron Ron and his room mate just walked out from the house after a late night visit.
The soil recovering from the afternoon rain.
The drunkards dancing their way out from Banago highways.
You reading this.
Me contemplating before I sleep.

It's the most magical day of July. At least that's what I learned after ten years of gracing this date with planned parties and unreasonable occasions. You will always remember your first conversation with the one you love. You always try to relive whatever happiness you experienced out of that blessing.

I try reprinting some old notes, tried even to re-frame old photos. I tried singing old songs as old as ten. None will turn back the hands of time to relive the moment. I decided to go on and make new moments. Making new history is fun. You cannot be stucked with the old one. With the old brand new you.

If last year we had the Philpop finals night and David Cook's Concert in Manila, this year we lost a personality. Cory Monteith just died in his hotel room in Vancouver at least the breaking news of today. Aside from the fact that I am supposed to write about my July 14 experiences in the past, I can't remember any of newsworthy items for today. Only that, I so love being alive today.

Hopeful? Yes I am. It may not be a great day to rejoice after ten years but still a magical one. Next Saturday would be another D day.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Notes Before July Comes

I came across some notes I wrote last year in my leadership diary. It has been a year since I started writing in there. I enjoy reading previous essays which I wrote.

A lot of things happened after June 15. I just came back from Manila last Saturday. Miami Heat just won the NBA Playoff Championship after winning back-to-back against San Antonio Spurs. Man of Steel is currently the hottest movie followed by World War Z and Monster University. Locally, we have Four Sisters and A Wedding as the first installment of the 20th year celebration of Star Cinema. We are at the moment waiting for the Cinemalaya Festival which will be next month.

We are bidding goodbye to June the wedding month, classes in schools are already gearing for momentum after an engine start.

What's in store for us this July? We never know. Only thing certain now is we can enjoy today. As I brave the rainy weather in Manila last Friday, I never let those silly moments ruined my visit. I tried my best to enjoy Ortigas in the finest of ways. I walked around Robinsons mall before going to Burgundy Tower with tyhe thought that my favorite historical drama in GMA just ended last Thursday. The next day is a contrast. Sunny Saturday for June 22. I stopped by South Mall area to amuse myself. See let's enjoy in spite of the derails.

True. The hardest part in life is waiting. Still, as we wait we can enjoy as much. It is your option if you will let disasters control you. Happiness is a choice. Now I'm beginning to fully understand this maxim.