It's me here in Laguna. To lay my back once again and take a long rest from a busy week schedule that passed. it's day five of the course. We just finished our evaluation day. It's been a long week for me and for the others. It might be tiring, mind boggling, and trembling but all the while it is inspiring and fun. It has been a long time since I was inspired by a woman intellectually. The last time was in 2007 when I was still under the tutelage of Ma'am Nikki. Yet, my English instructor is just half the age of Ma'am Nikki. She's extraordinaire. Reaching this far at an early age. I can't help but envy her most of the time because we are just in the same age bracket and look where she is now and where am I. I'm her student, she my teacher. Now I am more enforced to imagine what if I immediately looked for a job after graduation. I could have had a car already or i could have married Faye last year or this year with enough money to realize her dream wedding. Not like this.
"Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid."
Now this lines from Invictus is becoming more meaningful to me. There are so many plans. There are so many uncertainties. There seem to be more shades of clouds on my way to finish line but I will make all those things my inspiration. Not to mention those persons who believe in me and a lending their hands now to help me. I will draw courage from them. My supportive Mom. My ever reliable best-friend [yes even in financial matters], my cute little ones {Trish, Alen, Santi and Galan], and the learning experiences I had from the sages [Sir Peter, Mr. Tubaña, Ma'am Nikki and Sir Arwin]. Perhaps, in the coming days i will draw more inspiration from my instructor. Given ample time, when she reach Ma'am Nikki's age, she might be able to outdo the CCP-PAD Primadonna.
The city is becoming my new home. My team mates now becoming the new set of friends. It used to be Rand, but Seph is now becoming my new clown. Uncertainties becoming my new hopes. Sometimes i'm afraid to ask myself so I'll just ask God. Where will the money for the rest of the program come from? Will I be present during the August long weekend feast? Will I be able to make it to the company? All these become hanging questions now. I resolve to just enjoy the days to come and accept whatever decision that may affect me. All with open arms and a hopeful spirit. Whatever happens I'll make sure I turn out to be a better person.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Saturday, July 20, 2013
New Discoveries About Me
It's when you are challenged by the detours that your true character is tested.
I am embarking on a new journey. Loads are becoming heavier and familiar faces suddenly would disappear. Schedules which were too comfortable are soon to be depleted. I am not doomed, I am stretching a horizon. I am nervous, yes, but more eager than nervous. It is when you're looking at the same sun but on another floor of the house, on another side of the field.
Tuesday, I decided to give it all my guts and be in Manila to do what I must have done three years ago. It makes me sad that every Sunday now I WOULDN'T be able to see my unclaimed son as he sat a pew away from mine. It's quite unlucky that even breakfasts, lunches and dinners will now move away from where they were fixed in my clock. It's sad though that I wouldn't be able to comment to Jus' and Trish's status every single second of the day. Well, it is the new life. For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't be on my way up if I don't do this now. So better make use of this time for enjoying the preparation than use tomorrows fortune in fixing what was broken.
I am meeting new friends. I am learning new skills. I am familiarizing new avenues. Aren't they enough reasons to be grateful for despite the troubles that I am giving up for myself now?
And if I miss portion's of my favorite TV series, aren't the previous ones which I finished conclusively enough to suffice the lack? If I cannot be present where there are occasions to fulfill weren't I showed up in JanJan's wedding last Saturday to complete my bliss? If I won't have the chance now to meet Sheldon, Lorraine, Martee, Alen and my unclaimed son quite often or permanently, isn't this mess all for the future of my true sons and daughters? Or for the future bonding hang outs which I will have with them in the next next years to come?
A change in my environment doesn't necessarily mean a change in my entirety. I will still love the same persons and I will still value the same items and ideas. I will still be the person that I AM. Only that I am innovating my persona to becoming the better version you will ever find. I will not try to surpass my Master--- Mr. Tubaña's is too large a shoe to fill. I will not try to surpass him because I CANNOT. I will simply improve myself in the way enough for my proteges and future children to be proud of me.
I'm doing this for them, but mainly for me. I Should make it up for myself for all the times I wasted in hovering in Lara Faye's shadow. Who knows, in the end it may turn out like I did this for her.
I am embarking on a new journey. Loads are becoming heavier and familiar faces suddenly would disappear. Schedules which were too comfortable are soon to be depleted. I am not doomed, I am stretching a horizon. I am nervous, yes, but more eager than nervous. It is when you're looking at the same sun but on another floor of the house, on another side of the field.
Tuesday, I decided to give it all my guts and be in Manila to do what I must have done three years ago. It makes me sad that every Sunday now I WOULDN'T be able to see my unclaimed son as he sat a pew away from mine. It's quite unlucky that even breakfasts, lunches and dinners will now move away from where they were fixed in my clock. It's sad though that I wouldn't be able to comment to Jus' and Trish's status every single second of the day. Well, it is the new life. For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't be on my way up if I don't do this now. So better make use of this time for enjoying the preparation than use tomorrows fortune in fixing what was broken.
I am meeting new friends. I am learning new skills. I am familiarizing new avenues. Aren't they enough reasons to be grateful for despite the troubles that I am giving up for myself now?
And if I miss portion's of my favorite TV series, aren't the previous ones which I finished conclusively enough to suffice the lack? If I cannot be present where there are occasions to fulfill weren't I showed up in JanJan's wedding last Saturday to complete my bliss? If I won't have the chance now to meet Sheldon, Lorraine, Martee, Alen and my unclaimed son quite often or permanently, isn't this mess all for the future of my true sons and daughters? Or for the future bonding hang outs which I will have with them in the next next years to come?
A change in my environment doesn't necessarily mean a change in my entirety. I will still love the same persons and I will still value the same items and ideas. I will still be the person that I AM. Only that I am innovating my persona to becoming the better version you will ever find. I will not try to surpass my Master--- Mr. Tubaña's is too large a shoe to fill. I will not try to surpass him because I CANNOT. I will simply improve myself in the way enough for my proteges and future children to be proud of me.
I'm doing this for them, but mainly for me. I Should make it up for myself for all the times I wasted in hovering in Lara Faye's shadow. Who knows, in the end it may turn out like I did this for her.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Reign Beyond Sunshine
Humming happy birthday tune to Arthel as she turns a year older.
Ron Ron and his room mate just walked out from the house after a late night visit.
The soil recovering from the afternoon rain.
The drunkards dancing their way out from Banago highways.
You reading this.
Me contemplating before I sleep.
It's the most magical day of July. At least that's what I learned after ten years of gracing this date with planned parties and unreasonable occasions. You will always remember your first conversation with the one you love. You always try to relive whatever happiness you experienced out of that blessing.
I try reprinting some old notes, tried even to re-frame old photos. I tried singing old songs as old as ten. None will turn back the hands of time to relive the moment. I decided to go on and make new moments. Making new history is fun. You cannot be stucked with the old one. With the old brand new you.
If last year we had the Philpop finals night and David Cook's Concert in Manila, this year we lost a personality. Cory Monteith just died in his hotel room in Vancouver at least the breaking news of today. Aside from the fact that I am supposed to write about my July 14 experiences in the past, I can't remember any of newsworthy items for today. Only that, I so love being alive today.
Hopeful? Yes I am. It may not be a great day to rejoice after ten years but still a magical one. Next Saturday would be another D day.
Ron Ron and his room mate just walked out from the house after a late night visit.
The soil recovering from the afternoon rain.
The drunkards dancing their way out from Banago highways.
You reading this.
Me contemplating before I sleep.
It's the most magical day of July. At least that's what I learned after ten years of gracing this date with planned parties and unreasonable occasions. You will always remember your first conversation with the one you love. You always try to relive whatever happiness you experienced out of that blessing.
I try reprinting some old notes, tried even to re-frame old photos. I tried singing old songs as old as ten. None will turn back the hands of time to relive the moment. I decided to go on and make new moments. Making new history is fun. You cannot be stucked with the old one. With the old brand new you.
If last year we had the Philpop finals night and David Cook's Concert in Manila, this year we lost a personality. Cory Monteith just died in his hotel room in Vancouver at least the breaking news of today. Aside from the fact that I am supposed to write about my July 14 experiences in the past, I can't remember any of newsworthy items for today. Only that, I so love being alive today.
Hopeful? Yes I am. It may not be a great day to rejoice after ten years but still a magical one. Next Saturday would be another D day.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Notes Before July Comes
I came across some notes I wrote last year in my leadership diary. It has been a year since I started writing in there. I enjoy reading previous essays which I wrote.
A lot of things happened after June 15. I just came back from Manila last Saturday. Miami Heat just won the NBA Playoff Championship after winning back-to-back against San Antonio Spurs. Man of Steel is currently the hottest movie followed by World War Z and Monster University. Locally, we have Four Sisters and A Wedding as the first installment of the 20th year celebration of Star Cinema. We are at the moment waiting for the Cinemalaya Festival which will be next month.
We are bidding goodbye to June the wedding month, classes in schools are already gearing for momentum after an engine start.
What's in store for us this July? We never know. Only thing certain now is we can enjoy today. As I brave the rainy weather in Manila last Friday, I never let those silly moments ruined my visit. I tried my best to enjoy Ortigas in the finest of ways. I walked around Robinsons mall before going to Burgundy Tower with tyhe thought that my favorite historical drama in GMA just ended last Thursday. The next day is a contrast. Sunny Saturday for June 22. I stopped by South Mall area to amuse myself. See let's enjoy in spite of the derails.
True. The hardest part in life is waiting. Still, as we wait we can enjoy as much. It is your option if you will let disasters control you. Happiness is a choice. Now I'm beginning to fully understand this maxim.
A lot of things happened after June 15. I just came back from Manila last Saturday. Miami Heat just won the NBA Playoff Championship after winning back-to-back against San Antonio Spurs. Man of Steel is currently the hottest movie followed by World War Z and Monster University. Locally, we have Four Sisters and A Wedding as the first installment of the 20th year celebration of Star Cinema. We are at the moment waiting for the Cinemalaya Festival which will be next month.
We are bidding goodbye to June the wedding month, classes in schools are already gearing for momentum after an engine start.
What's in store for us this July? We never know. Only thing certain now is we can enjoy today. As I brave the rainy weather in Manila last Friday, I never let those silly moments ruined my visit. I tried my best to enjoy Ortigas in the finest of ways. I walked around Robinsons mall before going to Burgundy Tower with tyhe thought that my favorite historical drama in GMA just ended last Thursday. The next day is a contrast. Sunny Saturday for June 22. I stopped by South Mall area to amuse myself. See let's enjoy in spite of the derails.
True. The hardest part in life is waiting. Still, as we wait we can enjoy as much. It is your option if you will let disasters control you. Happiness is a choice. Now I'm beginning to fully understand this maxim.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
She Had Me
Raining still as I write this. I never really loved the rainy days but learned to live with it. As I grapple with the thoughts that it's June 15 once again, I can't help but think again of the times when she verily had me.
As in my mind, it is the wedding days of all wedding days. Church bells ring for the wonderful moment between the groom and the bride meeting after the long walk in the aisle. When I don't have bride to wed.
This is June 15, a Saturday, where all the world is busy preparing their surprises for Father's Day when I don't have a father to treat. Nor am I a father who doesn't have a son to treat me out.
I was thinking about many things. Some of them not necessary. This same moment when you would wish you are there but you can't be there. All these paroxysms that makes us lonely. But at this point I will have to decide, decide to be happy. It's June 15, my special day of the year. Shaira Mae, my niece just turned 15 last Tuesday. And it is June 15 when Julia's first episode for MMK will be aired. June 15 is the day I saw Her with much delight. I cannot let this pass by without being special.
I hope it will be as special as it was seven years ago. It's time to see her new tweets and make this day the best day.
As in my mind, it is the wedding days of all wedding days. Church bells ring for the wonderful moment between the groom and the bride meeting after the long walk in the aisle. When I don't have bride to wed.
This is June 15, a Saturday, where all the world is busy preparing their surprises for Father's Day when I don't have a father to treat. Nor am I a father who doesn't have a son to treat me out.
I was thinking about many things. Some of them not necessary. This same moment when you would wish you are there but you can't be there. All these paroxysms that makes us lonely. But at this point I will have to decide, decide to be happy. It's June 15, my special day of the year. Shaira Mae, my niece just turned 15 last Tuesday. And it is June 15 when Julia's first episode for MMK will be aired. June 15 is the day I saw Her with much delight. I cannot let this pass by without being special.
I hope it will be as special as it was seven years ago. It's time to see her new tweets and make this day the best day.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Free Living Upon Leaving Freedom
What an oxymoron that when you take out freedom in your mind it's actually the best time to feel free. Often, we substitute the reel for the real. We presume that what we want will make us happy, only to find out that what we need is not what we want. What makes us free are the guarded truths and not the permissive lies. It is not always about what we want to do but what we are suppose to do that sets us free. Now before I turn myself again into a mystic, let's savor the happiness of Independence Day and pre-independence day events.
June bride are here again to spice up the end of summer. Shaira just celebrated her 15th birthday and I can't be any happier. She's always that little baby that I used to carry in my arms and look now, even if I want the time halt and let her stay in childhood for a while, there's nothing I can do to stop her blossoming before all our eyes. A phone call from a friend officially closed my June 11 with the hope that even if apart from me, Shaira enjoyed her turn into 15. And I am certain that she will enjoy the rest of her 15 as it is the best part of one's life. To be 15 years old and be as excited as the teenage girls and boys about life. She doesn't wanna miss that.
Independence Day, truly a nice day for me. It's like feeling what I need to feel while filling what is there to fill. Myqeen's birthday was totally fun even without her here in the country. That's exactly how June 12 was for me. Ten days after Myx' birthday, it's Richard's birthday. Before getting into his celebration, I decided to visit Lee Harvey in his house, where he is staying in bed til 11am. Ah! What a great chance to bond with friends as MJ also came into Lee's place. What better thing to do when you don't have the channel that airs Heat vs Spurs' game........ Movie Marathon!!!!
We watched Iron Man 3. It is a spectacle. I never really like the previous installment. This one I liked so much. The we watched Oblivion. I have a lot to say about this movie. But I will reserve it until my next entry. Actually, both movies has a thought or two about freedom and independence... yes about human freedom. I encourage everyone to watch it for you all to find out. Another movie. This time a Filipino one. Coming Soon which starred Andi Eigenman and Boy 2 Quizon is a great movie about man's search for freedom and destiny.
As we Filipinos remember how our forefathers fought for our freedom, we are watching non-Filipino sports icon fighting for their NBA title. I am for San Antonio Spurs only for the reason that I really am not a Miami Heat fan. I can't take the fact that Miami again in the finals? Whew!
And as we wait for NBA results, who between Spurs and Heat will win, it seems like Julia Barretto is already wining her game as she stars in MMK Father's Day special this coming Saturday June 15. I am definitely happy seeing that gorgeous tenage girl come into the spotlight.
I heard "Brave" by Sara Bareilles last Tuesday night as Shaira is having her 15th birthday. It is one of the most wonderful music I have heard this year right after Millionaires by The Script and Love Somebody by Maroon 5. There are lots and lots about music this June and I ma planning to write a separate entry for it.
But as I said, June 12 is not all about freedom and independence. It is also about Richard's birthday. By 5pm, I went straight to Chad's place where the celebration is happening. And it was probably the best time to think less of freedom but just going with the flow of life.
It is when one is in total surrender to the weave of life that one finds true happiness and solace. Freedom is just part of the great quest. It is not the ultimate agenda of human life. But we can never go on without finding that real freedom.
If the Philippines is truly an independent nation, then why do the sons and daughters of OFWs feel they are not free to have their family whole and entire?
June bride are here again to spice up the end of summer. Shaira just celebrated her 15th birthday and I can't be any happier. She's always that little baby that I used to carry in my arms and look now, even if I want the time halt and let her stay in childhood for a while, there's nothing I can do to stop her blossoming before all our eyes. A phone call from a friend officially closed my June 11 with the hope that even if apart from me, Shaira enjoyed her turn into 15. And I am certain that she will enjoy the rest of her 15 as it is the best part of one's life. To be 15 years old and be as excited as the teenage girls and boys about life. She doesn't wanna miss that.
Independence Day, truly a nice day for me. It's like feeling what I need to feel while filling what is there to fill. Myqeen's birthday was totally fun even without her here in the country. That's exactly how June 12 was for me. Ten days after Myx' birthday, it's Richard's birthday. Before getting into his celebration, I decided to visit Lee Harvey in his house, where he is staying in bed til 11am. Ah! What a great chance to bond with friends as MJ also came into Lee's place. What better thing to do when you don't have the channel that airs Heat vs Spurs' game........ Movie Marathon!!!!
We watched Iron Man 3. It is a spectacle. I never really like the previous installment. This one I liked so much. The we watched Oblivion. I have a lot to say about this movie. But I will reserve it until my next entry. Actually, both movies has a thought or two about freedom and independence... yes about human freedom. I encourage everyone to watch it for you all to find out. Another movie. This time a Filipino one. Coming Soon which starred Andi Eigenman and Boy 2 Quizon is a great movie about man's search for freedom and destiny.
As we Filipinos remember how our forefathers fought for our freedom, we are watching non-Filipino sports icon fighting for their NBA title. I am for San Antonio Spurs only for the reason that I really am not a Miami Heat fan. I can't take the fact that Miami again in the finals? Whew!
And as we wait for NBA results, who between Spurs and Heat will win, it seems like Julia Barretto is already wining her game as she stars in MMK Father's Day special this coming Saturday June 15. I am definitely happy seeing that gorgeous tenage girl come into the spotlight.
I heard "Brave" by Sara Bareilles last Tuesday night as Shaira is having her 15th birthday. It is one of the most wonderful music I have heard this year right after Millionaires by The Script and Love Somebody by Maroon 5. There are lots and lots about music this June and I ma planning to write a separate entry for it.
But as I said, June 12 is not all about freedom and independence. It is also about Richard's birthday. By 5pm, I went straight to Chad's place where the celebration is happening. And it was probably the best time to think less of freedom but just going with the flow of life.
It is when one is in total surrender to the weave of life that one finds true happiness and solace. Freedom is just part of the great quest. It is not the ultimate agenda of human life. But we can never go on without finding that real freedom.
If the Philippines is truly an independent nation, then why do the sons and daughters of OFWs feel they are not free to have their family whole and entire?
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Your Favorite Summer Hash-tags
Summer is soon to be over. Rainy season almost near. School boys and girls are getting ready with stuffs and uniforms. We cannot be as postponing as now. If only we can extend the holidays of summer or just be in this season for the rest of our lives. Every body is waiting for summer and just like that it is to end so quick.
I wanna reflect a little bit of how memorable summer has been for many of us. Where else can we trace the joy of the season but in the social network sites. Instagram has never been this demanding, this summer might be the largest of population added to the instagram community. Most of us taking pictures of our vacations in the beach or just in the pool or the out of town picnic, the summer concerts or the experiments we made at home just to quench our thirsts for summer foods like sorbets.
Throwback Thursday is the name of a weekly post theme that social media users participate in as part of a very general "throwback" activity for posting content.On Thursdays, people usually post photos on sites like Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook that are from the past. Photos can be from years ago or from just a few days ago. There aren't really any limitations, and it really just gives people an excuse to post more.
Definitely tThurs is just another innovation in the realm of #sentisabado if you can remember. But most of the hash-tags in twitter and instagram are containing that nostalgic theme.
#Richard or #LoveandLies can be your hashtags if you are following the latest suspoense drama in GMA. If your staying late after that and an avid of junky love stories, you might be tweeting about #QueenandI because of it's funny yet romantic color. #RobinDude or #Akihiro for TV 5 fans who enjoyed Akihiro Blanco's first ever stint as lead in a month long series. #Aerosmith if you are so into the concert of Aerosmith this month here in Manila or #JasonMraz who also did one. #PBACommisioner with teh recently concluded game between Brangay Ginebra and Alaska Aces where Alaska brought the trophy home. You may want to include #QuenGil or #MMMKJuanPonce if you liked the two part mini series of Enrique Mari Gil in MMK where he portrayed as the adolescent Juan Ponce Enrile.
You may be saddened by the season finale of #GleeSeason4 and disappointed by the results of #AmericanIdol12 which also concluded it's season early this month. You may want to tweet about the #SantaCruzan in your Barangay or #kALOKALIKE which may be your favorite Showtime segment. #iTweetMOAkoSaAraneta is another favorite hashtag because of the successful concert of Jomari Viceral in Araneta.
What's your favorite summer hashtags? The NBA Playoffs Conferences already started. Miami just won the night over Indiana Pacers. Still I am going to join the club of Pacers believers. I may be posting a lot about it in my home pages. What about you? You may be following the controversy of Ai Ai de las Alas' frustrated marriage, then tweet about it.
Summer is soon to be over. Sadness may take control over ones predisposition if one has nothing left to remember about the summer that passed. It is good to take more photos of summer escapades and share it to the world. Actually, sharing it to your self in the future when the truth is you can browse it anytime tomorrow when you are missing yesterday.
I wanna reflect a little bit of how memorable summer has been for many of us. Where else can we trace the joy of the season but in the social network sites. Instagram has never been this demanding, this summer might be the largest of population added to the instagram community. Most of us taking pictures of our vacations in the beach or just in the pool or the out of town picnic, the summer concerts or the experiments we made at home just to quench our thirsts for summer foods like sorbets.
Throwback Thursday is the name of a weekly post theme that social media users participate in as part of a very general "throwback" activity for posting content.On Thursdays, people usually post photos on sites like Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook that are from the past. Photos can be from years ago or from just a few days ago. There aren't really any limitations, and it really just gives people an excuse to post more.
Definitely tThurs is just another innovation in the realm of #sentisabado if you can remember. But most of the hash-tags in twitter and instagram are containing that nostalgic theme.
#Richard or #LoveandLies can be your hashtags if you are following the latest suspoense drama in GMA. If your staying late after that and an avid of junky love stories, you might be tweeting about #QueenandI because of it's funny yet romantic color. #RobinDude or #Akihiro for TV 5 fans who enjoyed Akihiro Blanco's first ever stint as lead in a month long series. #Aerosmith if you are so into the concert of Aerosmith this month here in Manila or #JasonMraz who also did one. #PBACommisioner with teh recently concluded game between Brangay Ginebra and Alaska Aces where Alaska brought the trophy home. You may want to include #QuenGil or #MMMKJuanPonce if you liked the two part mini series of Enrique Mari Gil in MMK where he portrayed as the adolescent Juan Ponce Enrile.
You may be saddened by the season finale of #GleeSeason4 and disappointed by the results of #AmericanIdol12 which also concluded it's season early this month. You may want to tweet about the #SantaCruzan in your Barangay or #kALOKALIKE which may be your favorite Showtime segment. #iTweetMOAkoSaAraneta is another favorite hashtag because of the successful concert of Jomari Viceral in Araneta.
What's your favorite summer hashtags? The NBA Playoffs Conferences already started. Miami just won the night over Indiana Pacers. Still I am going to join the club of Pacers believers. I may be posting a lot about it in my home pages. What about you? You may be following the controversy of Ai Ai de las Alas' frustrated marriage, then tweet about it.
Summer is soon to be over. Sadness may take control over ones predisposition if one has nothing left to remember about the summer that passed. It is good to take more photos of summer escapades and share it to the world. Actually, sharing it to your self in the future when the truth is you can browse it anytime tomorrow when you are missing yesterday.
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