New Discoveries About Me

It's when you are challenged by the detours that your true character is tested.

I am embarking on a new journey. Loads are becoming heavier and familiar faces suddenly would disappear. Schedules which were too comfortable are soon to be depleted. I am not doomed, I am stretching a horizon. I am nervous, yes, but more eager than nervous. It is when you're looking at the same sun but on another floor of the house, on another side of the field.

Tuesday, I decided to give it all my guts and be in Manila to do what I must have done three years ago. It makes me sad that every Sunday now I WOULDN'T be able to see my unclaimed son as he sat a pew away from mine. It's quite unlucky that even breakfasts, lunches and dinners will now move away from where they were fixed in my clock. It's sad though that I wouldn't be able to comment to Jus' and Trish's status every single second of the day. Well, it is the new life. For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't be on my way up if I don't do this now. So better make use of this time for enjoying the preparation than use tomorrows fortune in fixing what was broken.

I am meeting new friends. I am learning new skills. I am familiarizing new avenues. Aren't they enough reasons to be grateful for despite the troubles that I am giving up for myself now?

And if I miss portion's of my favorite TV series, aren't the previous ones which I finished conclusively enough to suffice the lack? If I cannot be present where there are occasions to fulfill weren't I showed up in JanJan's wedding last Saturday to complete my bliss? If I won't have the chance now to meet Sheldon, Lorraine, Martee, Alen and my unclaimed son quite often or permanently, isn't this mess all for the future of my true sons and daughters? Or for the future bonding hang outs which I will have with them in the next next years to come?

A change in my environment doesn't necessarily mean a change in my entirety. I will still love the same persons and I will still value the same items and ideas. I will still be the person that I AM. Only that I am innovating my persona to becoming the better version you will ever find. I will not try to surpass my Master--- Mr. Tubaña's is too large a shoe to fill. I will not try to surpass him because I CANNOT. I will simply improve myself in the way enough for my proteges and future children to be proud of me.

I'm doing this for them, but mainly for me. I Should make it up for myself for all the times I wasted in hovering in Lara Faye's shadow. Who knows, in the end it may turn out like I did this for her.