Before Bidding His Last Goodbye

"If JP is alive could he be blogging right now?"

Sa unang never-before-seen episode ng Imortal sa Anino't Panaginip, pinakita ang conversation between Magnus and Dr. Jose Rizal. Siyempre hindi yun totoo. Natutuwa akong narecognize siya doon. The setting was in the prison on the night before the execution of Rizal. The one we remember today.

isa na si Rizal sa talagang maipagmamalaki ng lahing Malayo because of his great deeds kahit na iilang taon lang ang inilagi niya sa mundo, sobrang dami ng nagawa niya at naitatag niya. He is instrumental sa pagkakaroon natin ng kalayaan ngayon. Although hindi siya pinaka the best para sa akin, ok na ok naman ang mga napatunayan niya. He may not be as good boy as we can imagine pero matalino siya. Na-beat na rin ang record niya sa Ateneo. Hindi naman siya ang may pinaka mataas na grado sa Ateneo. May mas mataas na sa kanya, none other than His Excellency Luis Antonio Tagle. Hindi rin totoong well versed siya sa almost 40 languages. Yung iba nakakapagsalita siya pero hindi niya naiintindihan, yung iba kaya niyang isulat pero di kayang bigkasin at yung iba naiintindihan niya pero hindi kayang isulat at bigkasin. Hindi rin lahat ng panulat niya ay literary refined. Pero hindi natin maikakaila na may mataas na national value ang mga ito.

Alam natin na hindi perpekto si Rizal. Tulad natin, he is a human person at may faults din. Taong tao rin ika nga. Pero ang maganda sa kanya, hanggang sa kasalukuyan, pinaguusapan siya at dinadakila. One of the best teacher na puwedeng magturo sa isang Pilipino si Rizal. Hindi man natin siya nakakasama, ang mga nagawa niya ang patuloy na magtuturo sa atin.

Ngayong araw ng kamatayan niya, We can only look at the things he had done and hope we can in one way or another equate to the greatness of this man.

A salute to him on this very historic occasion!

2010 Personal Year End Review

2010 in a nutshell? Every month I always make an assessment before the end of the month. Ngayon time to revisit the entire year itself. It has been a year since I started blogging. Isang taon ang nabuo ko. Ano-ano nga ba ang mga bagay na muli-muli kong babalikan sa taong patapos na bukas?

Marami nga sigurong highlights na puwedeng maalala sa 2010. On a national level muna. Yung dalawang beses na pagboto, hindi ko malilimutan yun. Yung una is automated a historical act at isa ako sa nag partcipate. Yung Barangay election is manual naman. Siguro yung pagkakaroon ng bagong government. Yung inauguration ni President Aquino is one of the most en grande. Masasabi ko ring sobrang tatatak sa isipan ko yung August 23, Quirino hostage fiasco at yung effect nito kasunod noon yung Major-major ni Venus Raj na ewan ko ba kung bakit pinagusapan yun. Marami sa showbiz eh. Siguro yung Narnia at Harry Potter isa s amga naging hit. Ay... yung ano pala, Eclipse. Ako gusto ko yung Social Network. Justin Timberlake is truly a revelation. I mean magaling siyang music performer but the way he acts...cool.

On a personal level, sila Alger, Gerome, at Ralph siguro ang nangunguna sa mga personalidad na nakasama kong nagkulay ng taong ito. Noong birthday ko sila ang kasama ko. Noong birthday ni Myqeen, naginuman din kami. Noong piyesta sa Banago kila Keshia naginuman nanaman kami. Noong piyesta ng Nagcarlan, naginuman kami sa bahay namin at noong October sila pa rin ang kasama ko sa isang celebration. Siguro talagang meant for a year talaga ang samahan. Yung nangyari noong Monday, kasama ang clique ko noong highschool ay ang huling pinaka-masayang get together this year.

Masaya akong isipin na ngayong year marami akong nagawang kanta at marami akong nakilala sa net through facebook. Ang malungkot nga lang at di malilimutang mileston ay yung nangyari sa amin ni Faye noong June 15. Siguro turning point yun ng buhay ko at totally nabago talaga. Siguro this year din na madami akong napanuod na TV series. Mas madalas ako ngayon sa harap ng TV at net. Ang Naruto Shippuden siguro ang isa sa definition ng year na ito. Ang daming malalim na aral na natutunan ko sa isang simpleng palabas na aakalain mong pambata lamang, pero hindi pala. Kasi yung mga sinasabi ng show mas nakakarelate sa mga matatanda na.

Yung pagka feature ni Charice sa Glee as a foreign exchange student, grabe rin yun. Si Manny Pacquiao winning against Margarito. Si Bruno Mars conquering the universe with his music, grabe! Lahat yang mga yan, Filipinos. Siguro yung pagsikat ni Bruno Mars ang amazing sa lahat at ang hira i-figure out na Filipino siya. The best. Alam ko baka mag number one sa year end ang kanta nila ni B.O.B. na "Nothing On You" at ang iba pa niyang kanta sigurado sisikat din. Madami nangyari sa buong taon ito lalo na sa music scene. Ang PPO under Mr. Ochanine mas naging vibrant at ang Pinoy music mas maraming nagiging diversities. Ang kanta nila Rihanna at Slim Shady na "Love The Way You Lie" ay isa rin sa pinakasumikat pati na ang mga kanta ni Katy Perry. And how can I ever forget na noong July 02, after ng mahabang paghahanap at pagpapaikotikot sa Manila, to the point na halos makarating na ako ng Rizal, nabili ko na rin ang baton na pinakamimithi ko at binigyan ko ng pangalan as Lorraine. Ang sarap naman pala talaga na mayroon kang sariling baton. Mas natutunan mo kung paano magbalanse ng conducting choreography. Mas nae-express mo ng todo ang sentiments mo sa music na tinutugtog mo with an ensemble acting as your instrument.

Sa isang taon sigurado highlights na aabangan ang Pirates of the Caribbean with Penelope Cruz at last installment ng JK ROwling series na Harry Potter. Ngayon pinakagusto ko ang Hereafter ni Clint Eastwood. Mas lucky siguro for me kasi yea rof teh Rabbit ako.

Happpy New Year!!!!

Just Smile When Heavy Rains Fall

"I learned that neighbors are special as in between friends and relatives. They are there for good and bad times. People you can depend on and once-in-a-while you too will be responsible for them."


Hmmm.... disapointed? A little bit. Umasa kasi ako na on a 28 just like before will be a special day. 2005 nang umpisahan ang tradition ng maginuman sa petsang yun. Kami kami lang noon nila Regine, Rene at Isaac with Novellino as appetizer tanda ko pa. 2006, nagkaroon ng kumpletong mga members at sa bahay din ginawa. Naroon sila Edison [siya ang unang dumating at naghintay ng matagal], si Daryl, si Regine, si Jopeth, si Vicoy at Rufino. Noong 2007, sa bahay pa rin with tokwa't baboy as main pulutan. 2008 medyo mahaba kasi pagkatapos namin sa bahay sumunod kami sa Liliw kasi nagpa-party rin noon ang DM.

Birthday ni EJ ngayon. We were expecting for a children's party. Grabe ang ulan. Parang may mga crying ladies na sabay-sabay umiyak sa ibabaw ng ulap at kulang na lang kulog at kidlat July na ulit at hindi December. Si Jeng ang nagluto ng tanghalian ko kasi sa kabilang bahay lang sila natuolog kagabi. Dito ko na rin sila pinakain since very lonely naman ang Weednesday alone at naulan pa. Walang tatalo sa kuwentuhan naming tatlo nila Tare pagkatapos magluto ni Jeng, habang nanunuod ng TV ang mga bata. Somehow their presence lighten up my day. A rainy day is frequently mistaken as gloomy and dull. Hindi mo malaman ang gagawin lalo na kung hapon di ba?

Medyo sad nga dahil kung hindi naulan, baka masmasaya ang birthday party sa kabilang bahay. At gaya ng inaasahang kaugalian ng mga Pilipino, ang pagrarasyon ng handa sa kapitbahay ay di mawawala. I love eating spaghetti. Lahat ng taong mahal o kilalang kilala ako, alam na paborito ko ang pasta kahit anong luto. So nung binigyan ako ng spag at sopas, enjoy na enjoy ako at parang prelude na sa New Year. Kung hindi lang naulan, naroon sana ako sa kabila all throughout. Somehow, I thought of how a relationship which involves two neighbors is specialized. Hindi mo masabi kung parang magkapatid o kaibigan. Iniisip ko ba ito dahil magisa ako? I learned that neighbors are special as in between friends and relatives. They are there for good and bad times. People you can depend on and once-in-a-while you too will be responsible for them.

Kailangan nga bang minsan lawakan ko rin ang circle ng mga pinagmamalasakitan ko? Am I too centered to those special to me who have more than what I have? Am I too centered to persons who will only come in the future? Eh paano yan wala pa sila? Noong 2005 at 2006 umiikot lang ang buhay ko kay Faye at sa barkada ko noong highschool. Noong mahanap ko ang career ko, puro creativity at arts naman ang nasa isip ko at lately puro mga pangarap para sa future wife at children ang laman ng puso ko. Somehow, I was was losing sight of the people around. Minsan dahil sa pilit kong paglayo sa alaala ni Faye nalilimutan ko na kung sino ako para sa mga nagmamahal sa akin. Ayokong mawala. Gusto ko lang mabuo. Kahit mahirap ang mabuo na wala si Faye; wala ang CCP; wala sila Dan at Dianne; wala si JS at nasa America si Myqeen; wala si Pareng Kevin at si Bryan; wala ang pamangkin kong si Shaira; wala sila Kuya Anthony at sir Toby. Poignant as it seems, kailangan hindi ako mawala at umunlad pa nga holistically.

Sulit kaya ang buong magdamag ng December 28? Kaya ba nung pagtakpan ang mga dilim sa nagdaan at sa darating pang pangungulila? Sa 2011 kaya, masaya na lahat? Kasi pakiramdam ko kailangan kong habulin ang naunang Paul na ibinato ng isipan ko sa itaas habang nangangarap pero hindi ako makaakyat. Ayaw kong maiwan ng pangarap ko. Ayaw ko ring mawala. Gusto kong maniwala na ako pa rin ang Paul na hinangaan dahil sa perseverance, politeness, talents, at intelligence. pero ang totoo...everything, as in lahat, ay hindi enough. Sabi ni Aljur, "madali lang umaray pero hindi rin ako aayaw" matapos tanggalin ang cast sa katawan niya. Alam ko hindi rin ako aaywa. Hindi pa sapat ang lahat eh. May mga dapat pa akong patunayan. Gusto kong ako mismo ang makakita sa resulta ng pagbabago ko, hindi lang sa ka-ta-wan kung hindi higit sa lahat sa ka-ta-u-han. Hindi ko kailngang magpakitang gilas kaninuman, kahit kay Gen o kay Gerine. Sa totoo nga I like to work underground now. Lulutang at lulutang din naman pag may magandang nangyayari kaya't hindi dapat ipagpilitan. I cannot just waste lahat nmg pagpapatawad na ipinagkatiwala nila sa akin. Hindi ko masasayang ang sacrifices ng mga taong binanggit ko kanina. I cannot live in integrity before my children if I can't live a life credible before my neighbors who in the future will tell them about me.

One day I will, with all radiance, embrace not only a life of success but peaceful life indeed. It is the culture of optimism. A culture of hope.

December Highlights Constructing More Memories

"This Yuletide Season can never be complete without families, friends, foods, facebook and files. Can never find such happiness outside their realms"


Nagsimula sa isang simpleng chat sa facebook. Actually, nagsimula lahat sa pagka-miss, sa pangungulila sa isa't isa at nakaraang masasaya. Excellent times need excellent festivities. Biyernes, December 24, ng gabi nagka-chat kami nila pareng Sheshu at pareng Ayan. Pauwi na kasi si Ayan sa Liliw [as he announced via fb shoutout] kaya naisip namin ni Jejomar na ayain siya para sa quasi homecoming na all male lang sana pero kung magkataong andyan din ang DM eh di sige sama na rin ang girls [sinong may ayaw?].

Anyway pumayag naman sila. Try sana naming ma-contact sila Inno, PJ, at Noel pero mahirap. Si JM naman hindi na uminom. Kung nasa akin ang number ni Cyrus iti-text ko sana siya. Mahabang preparations lahat. Kahit walang kasiguruhan na ok ang kalalabasn. How, when seven years had passed and we can only hope that nothing changed?

Dumaan ang Deccember 25 and the day was very ordinary. I fixed no schedule for that day although I really wanted to make moments and post the photos on my micro-blogging wall. December 26, an ordinary Sunday pero puyat pa rin dahil inabangan ko ang awarding ng MMFF right after the special coverage of Regine and Ogie Alcasid's wedlock. Somehow, the awarding was disappointing, knowing that some of the entries deserved to win at least the awards na pinakyaw ng iisang pelikula. Alam naman ng lahat na bet ko ang "Rosario" but I guess hindi pa handa ang Filipino for that kind of movie. A story of a complicated woman made even more complicated by the cinematography and by Albert Chang. Si Gwen Zamora, sa production number, ewan ko... sobrang ganda niya noong gabing yun para sa akin.

Then come Monday. The most awaited. Kahapon, December 27, magka-text na kami ni Pareng Ric at gayak na for 7pm. Kahit alam naming wala masyadong darating. Ang gusto lang naman namin eh magkita kita kami. Buti nga at nariyan pa si Vhinky at hindi pa naluwas. Noong gabi nauna sila nagkitakita. Earlier than 7pm nung malaman ko na nasa Liliw na si Ric kasama si Bryan at Vhinks pero wala ang anino ni Jejomar. Alam ko iyon na ang muling pagkakataon para magkakita kami ni Dacles. Alam ko na noon rin makikita namin si Sheshu.

I arrived exactly 7pm sa Gracianos ng Liliw. Tatlo lang sila naghihintay. Wala ang barkada ng DM. Mhabang kamustahan sa aming dalawa ni Pareng Ayan. Pinakita niya ang bagong Canon DSLR niya. Isa sa mga pangarap kong maging regalo sa akin ngayong season, although Olympus ang trip ko. Ilang beses naming tinawagan si Dacles pero hindi pumunta, maliligo pa raw. Nahirapan din kami dahil wala kaming number ni Jejomar at hindi namin alam ang bahay niya. Nilisan namin ang Gracianos at pinuntahan si Dax. Naglakad lakad hanggang sa matagpuan namin si Sheshu. Buti na lang nakita namin kahit hindi alam ang bahay.

Next naming pinuntahan si Patrick para dun sana maginuman pero walang space kaya tinuro kami pabalik sa may Gracianos. Tawang tawa kami sa lugar na nadatnan mukhang Beerhouse talaga dahil sa mga lights. Hay.. pero no choice na kami at yun na lang ang oras para humanap. Kaya nag settle kami at umorder na ng isang case mucho. Ang saya ng gabi, buti sinamahn kami ni Patrick kahit papaano kahit noon lang siya nasabihan. Masaya akong nakasam ulit si Bryan at Sheshu. Masaya akong naroon si Vhinky para kay Ric kahit magisa siyang babae. Masaya akong naroon si Dacles at Ric.

Noong matapos kila Bryan na kami natulog. Tulugan nga agad eh. Dahil ba sa pagod o dahil gusto bumawi kinabukasan? Hala heto na nga ang pakiramdam na gusto mong isumpa ang beer. Sa umaga pagbangon ko alam ko na. Naglalaban ang ulo at sikmura ko. Parang sumakay ako sa bus na itinaob ng paulitulit. Kumain kami sa kanto, ng lugaw, libre ni Ayan. Ang saya ng kuwentuhan puro mga memories noong highschool. Sana nga highschool na lang kami ulit para hindi na maghiwahiwalay. Ngayon ko lang nabatid na ganoon ka indelible ng mga highschool expereinces. Lahat ng natatandaan ko, hindi pa rin nila limot. Ang galing! Sana mas napagigi ko pa kung alam ko na ganoon. Sana lahat ng magagandang alaala na kaya kong likhain noon ay ginawa ko para ngayon. Mas marami pang kabayanihan ang napagkukuwentuhan. In the same place, the same eatery, kung saan naganap ang tinukoy ko sa "ANG CHICKEN MAMI". Pangalawang hindi malilimutang experience doon mismo sa lugar kung saan nabuo ang DM noon.

Well, tulad ng lahat... naghihiwahiwalay rin ang magkakaibigan but only to look forward to another gathering, at hindi sa kung anupaman. Umuwi kami ni Ric at naiwang naglalakad pailaya sila Ron at Ayan. Ako masaya kahit gusto kong ihampas sa pader ang ulo ko sa bigat. Doon ba napunta ang beer kapag nainom na? Si Ric, naiwan sa jeep pagbaba ko habang ako preparing for December 28 kung may mangyayari nga. Pero hindi man matuloy ang nakaset for 28, ok na ako. Basta ang mahalaga may naglagay ng bagong flavor sa mga mithiing kong bumangon at umunlad. May mga handang sumabay as I travail the steps to greatness and all supports were given for that grand endeavor. Ayaw tumigil ng mga taong ito for believing in me. Why should I? Minsan tinanong ako kung gaano kahalaga ang mga highschool friends ko. They are on top as long as my wife and children are not yet. If there comes a time, I need to give up every single drop of my blood for these men and women of my teenage life, I will so long as it will not affect the future of my children.

Sasalubungin namin ang New Year, lalo na ako, with a new zest. Until that time, I will keep remembering how good each second with them was.

All Parents Love Their Children

For the last Sunday of the year, 2010, we are celebrating the Feast of the Holy Family. Right after the celebration of Christmas day. Mary and Joseph are no longer couples, with Jesus, they are now a family.

A family, according to our study of sociology is the nucleus of every civil community. It is the immediate institution a person has to belong because of blood connection. A family which is composed of parents and children is the most common to all cultures although we can find tribes that are living with extended families. In some parts of Papua New Guinea, there are tribe where children does not recognize who their fathers are from their uncles and grandfathers, nor their mothers from aunts and older cousins.

Even in the most normal cases, we can find that family remains a mystery. The bond that is so universal urges me to think that there is someone Great enough to infuse the kind of filial relationship to each human beings. I love to think, from the vantage point of Christianity, that it is God. God from the beginning is in a family. The Trinity. He [God the Father] has a Son. That Son He gave away so we might be saved. The day, the world celebrates the coming of a new family member is the same day God mourned for letting His Son be in the care of another persons.

The family is always and forever a reflection of the Trinity. In our bird's eye view, the Trinity is an epitome of an eternal august family. The Holy Mother Church, being the index of God's operation and the mirror of the Trinity must always and forever likewise be a family.

What can we learn? From the first reading we read about the relationship of the Trinity being transported to the human families. Sons should respect their fathers and mothers just as Jesus always respects the decisions of the Father. Saint Joseph being an obedient son to God followed what the angel said to him in a dream.

Now we face a much larger family. The Church. Not only will we think of our immediate family but also of others. We are called to share our family to everybody and called also to join the family which resides in heaven.

Remember Summer Games Never Winter Slumber

I woke up while it was still dark. Darkness all there was. The cool temperature of the morning imagining the dews in green grasses outside.

Laging ganito. Hahatakin mo ang kumot at hihiling ka na sana huwag magmadali ang haring araw sa pagsalakay sa sansinukob.

Dalawang bagay. Masarap matulog. Gayunpaman, higit na masarap ang gumising. Gusto ko pa sanang patagalin ang paginat subalit kailangan kong patunayan sa sarili na may activation of life. Bumangon ako. Higit pa sa pasasalamat ko na nakatulog ako ay ang pasasalamat ko na nagising ako at nakabangon, akhit alam ko na ang sarap humiga. Sino naman ang hindi hihiling ng overtime sa kama kung December 20 na?

May mga taong hindi na mararanasan pa ang bumangon. Mga nahimlay na hindi na madadanas pa ang paggising. Oo, iniisip ko pa rin siya. Bakit ba patay na siya. December 19 noon, magkikita kami sa FEU as promised. Handa akong ilibre ang group nila. Isa sana yun sa pinakamasarap na hang out namin. Pero habang papunta ako dun walang sumasagot sa text. Noong makarating ako ng FEU saka pa alng may nagtext sa akin. Kapatid daw siya ni Chesk. Namatay na daw si Chesk kahapon pa. Hindi ako makapaniwala siyempre. Bakit sa gannon nahantong? Kung kelan nasa kasiglahan at vibrance siya ng buhay niya. Imposible! Ang energetic at walang sawang magkuwentong si Chesk Silvestre, patay na!

Wala pa sigurong makakaunawa ng nadarama namin. Sa nadarama ko. Bakit naman kung kelan may candidate na para pumalit kay Faye saka pa nagkaroon ng bawian. Parang kahapon lang din. Nakita ko ulit yung babae sa jeep noong October 14. Ang tagal kong hinintay malaman kung sino siya pero nakita ko kahapon may nobyo na pala. Hindi man lang ako nanghinayang. Siguro dahil inasahan ko na na meron nga. Ang hirap mag umpisa ulit. Ang hirap i-unlearn ng mga nakasanayan na. Pero talagang ganoon.

Ang activation of life, hindi natatapos sa nakabangon ka na sa umaga. Kung patuloy ka rin namang nakahinto sa panahon na iniisip mo lang... hindi rin gumagalaw ang buhay mo. Andoon ka pa rin. Nakatigil. Dapat may exercise at dapat may gumagalaw na mga bagay hindi lang ikaw. Hindi lang ang isip mo.

Pinakamagandang halimbawa na yata ang activity ng Pinoy Azkals. Gumawa sila ng indelible mark sa mundo dahil sa ginawa nila sa competition labang sa Indonesia. Kahit ang Indonesia nahirapan sa kanila. Very proud ang mga Pinoy. Dito nagkakasundo ang mga English at Pinoy. Sila Phil Younghusband, mga Pinoy-British descent yan. Pati yung coach ng Azkals British din.

Ang saya. Sports! Oo... activation of life. Isa sa pinaka worthwhile na activity sa buhay ng tao. Camaraderie, Obedience, at physiology. Lahat ng mga ito ay ilan lamang sa mga disiplinang nahuhubog ng sports. Ang isang pagal na isipan at lugaming kaluluwa kinakailangan din minsan ng dibersiyon kung kaya't isang magandang pagpapalipas ng oras ang sports. Hindi lamang ito palipas ng oras kundi isnag paghahandang pampalakasan. Sa bawat pagsubok ng buhay, kailangan ng tao ng agility, perseverance, endurance, speed. Lahat ito kayang i-provide ng sports bilang preparatory sa mga trabaho natin.

Ang isang buhay na hindi siguro nakulayan ng sports ay malamyang buhay. At nakakatuwa sapgkat kaya nang tanggapin ng bukas na isipan ng Pilipino ang sports na soccer, gaya ng pagtangkilik nila sa basketball. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam sa isang magulang na may anak na nag-e-excel sa sports. Alam ko hindi naman inasahan nila Nanay Medi at Ta Vic na magkaroon ng isang anak na into sports lalo na nga at babae pa ito--si Aira. Pero todo ang suporta nila. Kung ako gugustuhin ko rin na magkaroon ng anak na athlete. Lalo na kung isa kila Leuthor o Lance yun. All the way ang suporta na ibibigay ko sa kanila. Kung maaari ay sa Sepak o Soccer. I will eevn encourage them to have lessons in Aikido. Lalo na kung makakapaglayo ang mag ito sa bisyo at masasamang gawi. And among all that, encourage them even to join a fraternity. Yung frat na kilala ko ang vision-mission at ang mga founding members. Siguro dahil frustration ko ang frat joining pero hindi lang yun. Thta is to ensure tehir respectability and status in society lalo na pag college. Kailangan nila ng isang confederation that will protect tehir interest and support their objectives. Iba na rin ang may kinabibilangan... law of greagariousness. Bukod sa mga sarili nilang clicques.

Sports is one outlet I will allow my child to be into. Is aito sa mga bagay na dapat magpabangon at gumising sa dugo ng bawat tao.

Can Father's Day Come Twice?

Wow! The last Sunday of Advent. The spirit of Christmas cannot be hindered anymore. More than any other Sundays of Advent, now is the prelude to Christmas.

Today we hear of prophet Isiah prophesying about the child who is to come, telling this to Ahaz. A reminder that Christ coming is foretold as in then Advent prayers we say "you whom prophets and sages long foretold". Only Jesus is given that reality. To be born and yet while not yet born, He already is talk of the people. I never knew of Hallie Williams until the time I watched the Twilight Saga. Nobody told me she will rise to fame. Actually, nobody told her. Nobody told us about Manny Pacquiao when we were eight or ten. No one. He only came to my senses when he won his fights. Jesus is so different that while he is not yet born, he already is.

Saint Paul would remind us in the second reading that this Jesus is the fulfillment of Prophet Isiah's foretelling. He is the one who is to come and the one to resurrect. No one like Jesus resurrected from death. Other denominations have gods but they didn't rose from the dead. Lazarus was brought to life again and so is the daughter of Jairus but they were only resuscitated by Jesus. Jesus is the only one who resurrected from the dead.

Now in the Gospel we hear about the one who will take good care of the child prophesied by Isiah. He is Saint Joseph, the patron of the laborers, patron of happy death, patron of good fathers, and the protector of the Holy Mother Church. He is the template of Christian parenthood. He may not be the index of advent like Saint John the Baptist but he is definitely one of the persons who prepared the way of the Lord.

This slogan--prepare the way of the Lord--is the nexus theme of advent. It is a call to all Christian. A preparatory program for Christmas. And this, like St. John and Isiah, Saint Joseph did.

Christmas is really near. The question is, are we preparing the way of the Lord?
Are we ready to change our ways?
Are we reflecting internally on the coming of Jesus 2010 years ago and in our hearts? Or are we just hurrying and rushing to the malls and party centers more than we do in the chapels?

Jesus was born in the inn and simplicity is all he taught that night. Why so worried of how to make an extravagant occasion? Jesus is asking for our time this advent, we are not yet late if we will try.

Ten Days Before Unwrapping Gifts

Just for a thought, today is a culmination of this half-month of December. A chain of milestone made this December a very very good one.

Sunday, December 12, nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na mapasaya ang sarili ko in memory na rin noong nangyari seven years ago. Although a Sunday, naging sobrang special pa rin naman ng mga activities. What about that? The first time na nakita ko si Jennelyn Mercado.

Monday, December 13, truly a milestone. Dinala ni Isaac si Irish sa bahay. Sa wakas ipinakilala na rin niya ang babaeng nagpapasaya sa kanya ngayon at sana siya na nga habambuhay. Mabait naman si irish at mukhang desente. Mukhang ring inosente at hindi gagawa ng masama dahil na rin sa unang boyfriend niya si Vicoy. Go Vicoy! Sana maging mas masaya pa sila at sana makasama namin si Irish sa pasko. Ako pa lang kasi ang nakakikita sa kanya. SI Je, Jophet, at iba pa hindi pa niya knami-meet.

Noon namang Martes, December 14. Kahapon lang. Lumaya na mula sa 15 taong pagkakabilanggo sila Hubert Webb at mga kasama sa Vizconde Massacre. Talagang breaking news yun kahapon. Ang daming matututunan ng sambayanang Pilipino mula sa karanasang iyon ng mga Webb pero hindi yun ang discussion ko nayon eh.

Kasi nga ang December 15 ang pinakasummit ng lahat ng ito ngayon. Tomorrow start na ng panibagong season. Madaling araw pa lang alam na natin na may bago nanamang panahon.

Birthday ngayon ng kapatid ko [kuno], si Rizzel. Minahal ako bilang isang tunay na kapatid kahit na si Razzel talaga ang kapatid niya by blood. Hay... ang ikli lang ng pinagsamahan namin pero parang sobrang mahalaga ang lahat ng yun.

Parang noong 2006 lang, bumili ako ng ice cream para regalo sa kanya kahit hindi na December 15. 16 yata yun, sa bahay nila Arianne. Andun ang section nila for a project.Hindi ko malimutan yun, not because of the ice cream pero because it is the birthday niya na kasama ko siya ulit after 2003. Yun din kasi ang huling birthday celebration niya na kasama ko siya. Ngayon puro bati na lang sa text at on line.

Also, kanina, naganap ang isang hindi inaasahang suwerte ng buhay ko. Na retrieve ko yung nawawalang file na ang tagal ko na talagang hinahanap. Sobrang importante kasi ng sanaysay na nilagay ko dun. Pero dahil masaya ako na ngayon pa of all the days ko nakita yun muli... i-share ko na rin siguro yung laman ng file. Isang memoir entry na very personal at para sa akin may sentimental underlying message. Ang "Chicken Mami". Hope magustuhan ng magbabasa.;

ANG CHICKEN MAMI

Ganito tayong mga kabataan tuwing umuulan. Babala; lantarang pinasisipsip ng mga talata ang kung ano mang naganap sa aking buhay apat na taon na ang nakararaan. Ang umaga ay walang kabatiran…ito’y tahimik at may halong pamimilit. Hinahanap ko nga noong umaga at miryenda ang dilag ng aking buhay. Palibhasa’y ang aral ay pinutol. Hindi naging gaya ng dati ang pag-agos ng Biyernes na yaon. Sapagkat may inihandang programa sa kinahapunan. Wari’y nakapagtataka ang alon ng mga segundo. Kinakabahan akong sa hapon ay di kami kasabay sa awasan ng mga bata. Ang lahat kasi ng magsisipagtapos ay may panayam sa bulwagan. Doon kami’y makikinig ng mga pananalita ng mga napabantog sa kanilang larangan, sa napiling karera. Minsa’y naroon ang kaba, subalit tama yata sa akin ang awit ni Frankie J—ang naglalaban sa aki’y ang puso ko’t kinabukasan. Kapag ito ay naging krisis, ito ang pinakamasaklap at kakilakilabot! Kapag ang dalawang dapat na magkasundo ay naghiwalay ng sanga ayon sa takda ng Likas, ito nga ay tinatawag sa malaon na krisis. Kapag ito ay naging krisis ito’y nanganganak ng kalamidad. Kapag ito’y kalamidad ay manganganak pa ng kudeta ng kalooban. Sa sandaling kapwa na sila kudeta sa kalooban tiyak nang mangangank ito ng dili iba’t delubyo.

Dito nga kami nahantong, ang hapon ay dumagim. Ang ulap ay nagpaninsala. Umuugong ang mga tubig sa himpapawirin at malakas ang paglalaro ng hangin. Dito na bumuhos ang makamandag na ulan. Kahalintulad ito ng mga luhang pumatak dahil natabig lang ang mata, samantalang ang may-ari ng mata ay lugami sa mga awit ng nakaraang Oktubre. Naghihintay ng umaga kung kailan mapagkakasundo niya ang mga napilas niyang algahumat. Mga umagang mapagsusunong niya ang kapwa di-magkaayos na pita—ang pag-ibig kay Lara Faye at ang pangarap sa buhay. Noong hapong iyon pinagnilayan ang kung anong gagawin sa buhay, ilalabas na sulit, pagmumulan ng pera, kabuluhan sa mundo bilang tao. Subalit paano kung ang kasikatan at karangalan ay kapalit ng pagsuko ng isang dakilang pagirog na noon lamang natagpuan sa hinaba ng kasaysayan? Isang pag-ibig na mananatiling wagas habang buhay ang mga maaaring maging saksi. Hindi nga ba’t ipinanganak ang tao hindi lamang sa hanap-buhay kundi lalo’t higit ay upang magmahal ng kapwa? Bawat lalaki ay ipinahintulot na magkabayag hindi lamang upang maganak kundi upang magpahayag ng isang natatanging pagsinta sa isang babaeng mayumi at dalisay. Danga’t ang mga bituin nga ay nilikha upang sa gabi ay magbigay tanglaw sa mga magkatipan na tanging yakap ang sandata at sila ang tanglaw? Taimtim kong nililimi ang mga dunong na maaaring mahango sa mga taludtod ng aking mga kaisipang mangha. Hindi nga ba’t naging napakatabang ng kahapon ko upang sa isang iglap pagdating ng tamang gulang ay matagpuan si Lara Faye na siya palang dahilan ng pagsilang ko’t pakikihalo sa sansinukob? Mali kayang isipin ko ang lahat ng ito? Mali kayang sa isang hapon ay sisihin ko ng pabugsobugsong ulan na siyang palatandaan ng mga tinamaan ng bagkat kong pasanin sa buhay. Malamang oo, malamang rin hindi. Sagot kaya ito ng isang matinong Lalaki na makailang beses nang nagtagumpay sa digmaan? Isang saglit pa matapos ang palatuntunan, sinikap ko pang halughugin ang paaaralan. Umaasang sa kahit mataong paligid at sulok ay naroon siya, ang aking minamahal. Napilitan na nga akong sumama sa mga kaibigan ko. Ewan ko ba, kapag nasa Liliw ako pakiramdam ko’y panatag ang kalooban ko. Hindi na ako naghihintay ng mga hagupit sa kinabukasan bagkus ay nakalingap ako sa gabing hindi dapat mapalampas pa, saglit pang mapapalapit sa lunan na kanyang tinutulugan, sa tunay niyang tahanan. Gaano ito katamis. Kahit alam kong umulan at hindi lingid sa aking matyag na noon ay may bagyong parating, sige pa rin. Nauuhaw yata ako sa maghapong di naming pagsasama at sa mga nalalabi pang bukas na baka isang paggising ay humantong na sa pagtatapos. Ako ay may pinaghalong pangamba at pag-asa. Ako ang nagmamahal na takot at sigla. Ako ang binatang mapaghintay at mapagdusa. Ako ang hamak na mangingibig at duwag. Ako ang pinagsanib na kahapon at bukas. Ako ang pinagtabing ako at anino ni Lara Faye. Ako ang di napapansing ningning. Ako ang wagas na wakas. Ako ang ilaw sa tanghaling tapat. Ako ang hindi maipaliwanag ni Lara Faye na katwiran. Ako ang landas ng kanyang pagurong. Ako ang hiwaga ng kanyang kalikasan. Ako ang kalinisan ng kanyang minamantiyahan. Ako ang kalahati ng kanyang dinurog. Ako ang di maabot na nariyan. Ang luha ng mga kasiyahan. Ako ang paghihintay na dumating. Ang mga awit ko ay naging batas ng katahimikan. Ako ang pinsala ng kadakilaan. Ako ang hindi ko maintindihang ako.

Lumingon ako sa gilid ko at natanaw ko ang rutang tinatahak ng sasakyang-makina. Ito ang daanang mula’t-mula pa ay paliagi naming binabagtas noong kabataan. Dito ako nagkaroon ng muwang. Dito nahubog ang wisyo kong ganap. Humahampas nga ang amihan. May mga samyo rin ng ampiyas, parang talsik ng laway ng mga sirena. Ayoko ng lubos na kalamigan kaya’t ibinaling ko ang ulo palihis ng bintana at namasdan ko muli ang mga mukha. Sila’y sila Relmark, Joanica, Jenna, Roy, Karlo at Rene. Ang sasakyan ay kinabibilangan tuloy ngayon ni Ako, Relmark, Joanica, Jenna, Roy, Karlo at Rene. Ang sulatin tuloy ngayon ay kinabibilangan tuloy ngayon ni Lara Faye, Ako, Relmark, Joanica, Jenna, Roy, Karlo at Rene. Ang nangungulila ay Ako. Nais makasama ng akong ito sila Relmark, Joanica, Jenna, Roy, Karlo at Rene. Habang ako’y nangungulila at nagmamahal kay LaraFaye. Ang mga taong binanggit ko maliban kay Ako, ay nagbuhat sa iisang silid aralan na ang pangalan ay MIDES. Tatlong taon matapos ang paglisan sa paaralan nila Relmark, Joanica, Jenna, Roy, Karlo at Rene; nakamit ni Lara Faye ang pinakamataas na titulo ng pagiging isang mahal sa akin ang pagiging kabilang sa MIDES. Ang lupon na pinapangarap kong maging isa. Ang silid aralan na nais kong upuan, tapakan, sulatan ng tula at makipagkaibigan.

Pagbaba namin sa sasakyan, tumungo kami sa bahay ni Rene upang kumuha ng payong. Walang kuryente, walang ningas, walang dalidab. Ang bugso ng ulan ay tuluyang naghasik ng kalungkutan. Ito ang isa sa pinakamalungkot na dapit-hapon ng mga Pilipino, ito ang isa sa mga kinatatakutang maganap ng mga paslit, ito ang kalunos-lunos na klima para sa mga taong-lansangan, ang kapit-dilim na’y wala pang kuryente. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking nararamdaman noon. Masaya ako dahil kasama ko ang mga kaibigan ko, kinakalimutan ng isip ko ang mahal ko subalit ayaw ng puso ko, natatakot ako dahil baka hindi ako makauwi. Oo lahat ito bumabagabag sa akin isang tanawin na makulimlim sa loob at labas ng aking puso. Maging sa alaala ko’y hindi ko mawari ang kulay ng mga dinadaanan kong paklagatan. Dito ko ihahalintulad ang pahina ng buhay ko noong hapong iyon. Hindi ko maaninag ang katotohanan ng lahat sapagkat natimpla ang di magkakaayong pakiramdam at kaisipan. Lahat kami nagtipon-tipon sa dulo ibaba ng kalye, sa panulukan. Doon nagpasya sila na kahit man lamang humigop kami ng mainit na sabaw, isang putahe na nagmula sa kabihasnang Tsino, ang Mami. Mayroon itong mainit na sabaw na kinatasan ng karne ng hayop at may noodlesong tirintas, mahaba ito at sinasangkapan ng harina at itlog. May ginayat na dahon ng sibuyas, kinalalahukan din ng karoteng hinimay at paminta, pagkatapos ay bubudburan ng kalamansi upang lalong maging malasa. Pumasok sa isip ko ang mga Mista ko. Sila kasi ang tuwina’y kasama ko sa hapon noong nakaraang taon, bago ko pa makilala si Lara Faye. Hindi ko pa alam na dapat pala’y sa Liliw ako nagmamasid kapag hapon. Inakala ko na Kalabaw ang karneng lahok sa sabaw. Ito kasi ang pinagsimulan ng aming pagkakaisa. Nang kami’y nagsama-sama sa mamihan, nabuo ang mga luha, nabuo ang mga pag-asa, nakilala namin ang isa’t-isa, doon namin natutunan ang mga sariwang halakhak, mga ngiting walang pagkukunwari at mga latay na handang hilumin. Ang mga hapong iyon pagkatapos ng pahirap ang naging premyo namin sa sarili at panatang inaabangan. Kami ang bumuo ng isang kawanian na sa tambayan nagiging taos. Sa paghigop nagiging lubos. Ito kami, at doon Ako nabibilang noon—noong wala pa si Lara Faye. Biglang ngayon, laking gulat ko nang ang ihain sa amin ay bihong-sinabawan at ang karne ay manok, ang mantikay malinaw at walang lapot na gaya ng sa kalabaw. Oo, nagbago na pala. Napagtanto ko ang katotohanan na ang Ako ay dito kabilang. Na ang Ako noon ay iba sa Ako noong makilala na si Lara Faye. Salamat sa manok, salamat sa pagalala.

Nakarating ako sa bahay na gabi na at pumapatak pa rin ang bagyo. Doon ako nagmuni sa lahat. Wala pa ring ilaw at puyog di lamang ang katawan pati na ang damdamin.



Ang May-akda


Paul Caparos




_____________________________

Again gustong gusto ko lang i-greet ang kaibigan ni Lara Faye na si Rizzel ng HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Rizzel, I miss you extremely.

Joyful Sunday

Let us think about our soul for a while now. It is Sunday and the heck of this busy world often makes us forget that it is Advent Season more than it is a shopping season.

Last Sunday I gave an entry which is a reflection about the coming of Jesus in Christmas, in our hearts, and in the parousia. The Sunday before that, I reflected on the meaning of waiting. Now we are about to complete the dissected statement reflection on the meaning of advent which is ...Joyful Waiting and Preparation for the Coming of Christ. Only one more idea is left for us to ponder, that is Joyful.

In line with that thought is our celebration of Gaudete Sunday which literally means joyful Sunday. Gaudium, root word of gaudete, is a Latin word which means Joy. One of the most maximized documents of Vatican II is Gaudium et Spes which literally translated as "Joy and Hope" that blinks us to the light of our mission as Chirstians to be bearer of happiness, peace and hope to everybody [alegra, paz, ezperensa].

I am about to start now a deeper look into the meaning of joy. I will start it by stating what joy is not so as to avoid ambiguity and confusion in the word.

> first of all, joy is not amazement. Amazement is simply a form of wonder. Joy is a deeper appreciation of everything. For example, one may feel awe with nature because of seeing it first time but after seeing it again and again, the awe is diminished. Joy is different. It makes one appreciate what nature presents even amidst the storms and famine. Joy is coming from within.

> Joy is not pleasure. Pleasure is very dependent on stimuli. If the stimulus is removed, one cannot enjoy pleasure anymore. Joy is not only achieved through sensation but obtained in peacefulness, calmness, and discipline.

>Joy is not even hilarity. being hilarious is a sign of too much immaturity while joy is a happiness that comes from responsible and sensitive personality. It is a manifestation of satisfaction brought by unending fulfillment while hilarity is often a mark of finding what is humorous even in the fault of one or even at the expense of another's shame.

In all those three concepts viz-a-viz joy, we find one lcd [least common denominator]. All of them are temporary. Joy is a an eternal satisfaction of the soul not brought by sensation or emotional feelings but by something more than that. I can say even that it is holistic.

In today's Gospel Reading, Jesus is giving us [through John the Baptist] reasons to rejoice. The joy similar to a blind man who regain sight. The joy in knowing that the lame are now walking, dumb are now speaking, poor are now hearing the good news. Of course, they are not only physical attributes. They are symbolic of Jesus' mission, something higher than that physical liberation. That can also mean to say that the confused are enlightened, the oppressed are emancipated, the weak and victims of injustices and sicknesses found solace in the Lord. They are all reasons to rejoice, to be in Joy.

Jesus is telling the disciples of John that it more than physical liberation from ailment bondage that He is here. Look, the sinners are finding joy in him also. They are turning from their evil ways and reconciling with the Lord is the first thing they want to do. That is the joy of advent. That is the celebration we want to remember today, Gaudete Sunday. That while waiting we can find joy.

Seven years ago, I found myself in the park waiting for my friends from another section to arrive. They were coming from Tagaytay City and just had their 3 day pre graduation retreat. I almost gave up in waiting. I was alone in there while some students are passing by seeing me without company. I am just telling myself that soon they are coming. And so they came. You could just imagine the joy in my heart seeing them again after three days of absence in my life.

We went to the house of one of my friends, Jenna. There they told me stories of how the activities went on. If not for my waiting alone, I couldn't have catch them as they come. That was one of the most beautiful I day I remember up to now.

So is every Christian allowed to experience such joy. I hope not exclusively today but all through the years.

Remember Shoutouts Then Forget About Vampires

"Shoutout is that day to day update post of what is happening in you, your sentiments, your being you. "

Ang shoutout ang isa sa pinaka pinapasikat nilang teen oriented show. Although in just about 30 minutes, pinakakasya nila lahat ng kuwelang pakulo that may have soem bearing to adolescent viewers.

Hmmm... mukhang napepeke yata tayo minsan ng ABS. pino-front nila ang mga directors and after makuha ang trust ng audiences directors are leaving their projects behind. Napansin ko yun dati sa precious hearts, may isang flick na si Cathy Garcia-Molina ang director then noong lumaon si FM Reyes na ang director at walang kamalay malay ang mga tao. Ang "Kristine" na dati ay kay Rory B. Quintos ngayon ay napunta na sa kamay ng dalawang hindi ko kilalang male directors.

Pinakamatindi sa lahat ang pagkawala ni direk Chito Roño sa "Imortal" n aiilan pa lang ang nakakapansin. Inilipat na niya ang directorship kay Richard V. Somes na isa sa tatlong nagdidirek nito ngayon together with Jerry Sineneng and Trina Dayrit.

Ang Imortal of all the TV Series in the Philippines is the first to have a very interactive site and the first to launch a never-before-seen video clips na para bagang mga backgrounder na nakikita lamang natin sa Naruto whenever ikukuwento ang mga kabataan at nakaraan ng mga characters. Tunay na maganda. Tunay na kahangahanga at deserving talaga para pagbidahan ni Angel Locsin. The effects and the paragon of the video games with the contest for the best Imortal paper design. ANg galing. Ang Anino at Panaginip ay parang mga pinagtagpi tagping short films na gustong gusto mong abangan tuwing biyernes at kahapon nga lamang ay napanuod ko ang isa sa tatlong nailabas nang series. Ang istorya ng isnag vampira na nagtitinda ng appliances at ginagamit ang pangaakit ng vampira para makkuha ng mataas na sales na dahilan rin ng pagiging employee of the month niya. May sex scene ito kaya dapat ding gabayan ang mga batang manunuod. Anyway mahihirapan naman silang makapag sign up kasi mabusisi ang paggawa ng account sa site ng Imortal.

How about one more shout out?

Reflections About Christ's Coming

Last Sunday, first week of Advent, I rendered a reflection entry about Waiting. I spiritualized it a bit. Now on a second Sunday of Advent, I want to deal with Coming. Anyway the word advent came from Adventus which literally means to come. Jesus is coming. That is the message of Advent. We have to prepare because of His coming. There are three Comings of Christ that I like to talk about because they are the theme of Advent.

1. The First Coming of Jesus as Messiah 2010 years ago. His incarnation being born of the Virgin Mary is not only commemorated but being made present by Advent. The Holy Mass is not only a remembrance but a way of making alive the Sacrifice of Jesus. So the Advent is making present again the story of Incarnation although in a very spiritual way now.

2. The Coming of Jesus into Our Hearts. The second coming of Jesus happens to each Christian personally. It can be while you are 12 or 34 or any age you are ready to accept Jesus as saviour and lord. The conversion of every Christian signifies the act of welcoming Jesus into their very lives. As of this moment you should have welcomed Him already otherwise the experience of Jesus' coming to your heart may be too late.

3. The Second Coming which Marks the End of the History. Christ will come again in glory. This we proclaim. And advent is an avenue which prepares us for that coming. We must be ready not only for Christmas or for a new way of life after receiving Jesus in our hearts. So much so, we must be ready to meet Him in the last day which we call the Parousia.

The Church, through the celebration of Advent reminds us that there are three comings of Christ we need to prepare for. Are we ready to meet Jesus for eternity?
Let us reflect on this thought as we face advent.

Clarifying Some Mundane Issues

"To protect life and not to prevent life. That is the only intention which makes it good"

The topic about the usage of condom is becoming hotter nowadays. It is in the middle of the legislative debate about the RH Bill that the Filipinos received the Vatican news about the Pope's allowance of the use of condom. Does the pope really allows the use of condom as contraceptive?

The definite answer is NO. The pope only issued a special consideration. By special consideration we mean any permission given by the Holy Mother Church for very particular and consequential act that is allowable in nature. The intention of the agent should be to prevent a disease.

The pope posits that only those infected by HIV and AIDS sicknesses can use condom. Condom being an indifferent material cause. An indifferent material cause is any material which is neither good nor evil in nature. The efficient cause, who is the agent, will determine if the material cause is used as such [whether good or evil].

So it all depends on the intention of the agent. If the intention is to protect the partner from the transmission of any sexual illness, then the usage of condom is good. Because in this case the intention is to protect life. And the Church is always in protection everyone's life. If on the other hand, the intention is to use condom as a contraceptive so as not to bear a child then it is bad. The act itself will prevent life. Only those who have HIV and AIDS can use condom to protect their spouses from the transmission. Anyone who uses it otherwise may be liable to natural illegality.

So it is said that for a very particular case, the Church allows the use of condom, an indifferent material cause, for the good of human life and not for the prevention of it. Now, it cannot be a strengthener to justify the RH Bill which is basically a proposed law leaning to the prevention of life. RH Bill is not about HIV positive people it is about potential parents denying themselves of the responsibility of parenthood. It is about robbing the future generation of their rights to enjoy life. It is about using condom, an indifferent material cause, in a manner which is against the law of nature. Any artificial means of birth control is naturally illegal. The very law of nature does not permit such. Actually, law of nature does not permit even the Coitus Interruptus which is a natural method. For reasons that it can also be abused. Coitus Interruptus may also fall into the category of masturbation because it does not complete the natural act of marriage. There are also medical reasons why it is not allowed. First of which is the pre-ejaculation case which happens most of the time even before the withdrawal of the genitalia happens.

Our Holy Mother Church is not issuing any revisions of Her doctrine. The Church is still believing in the sanctity of marriage and in the responsibility of couples to generate life as a ministry taken from the creation of God. Thus, the use of condom as a means to prevent life is still wrong. Only when there is the intention to protect the partner from any transferable disease can we allow such act.

Movie Reflections Plus Birthday Remembrances

Just last year, I watched 2012 in SM Batangas. Yun yung movie na nakasabay ng New Moon sa takilya. Ok siya, about sa destruction of the globe through climate change. At ngayon Nov 29 2010, napanuod ko naman ang The Day After Tomorrow kaya ko naalala na exactly this date yung isa. Co-incidence ba? Pareho ang theme nung movies. Parang naiba lang ang mga tauhan pero climate change din ang pinagmulan ng conflict sa plot.

Ang saya. Siguro they have something to tell me. On a 29 of November? Birthday ngayon ng best friend kong babae si Joanne Saldaña. Hindi naman siya ecologist. Hindi rin naman siya member ng green peace.Hindi rin siya member ng kahit anong NGOs na makakalikasan.

Hay... si JS. Birthday niya ngayon. Siya ang non-biological sister ko kasi nilagay niya sa tag sa photo sa facebook na non-biological brother niya ako. Kapatid ko nga siya pero di ko pa siya nakakasama sa birthday niya. Sad talaga. Lagi na lang wala sa tabi lahat ng pinaka importanteng tao sa buhay ko. Si Shaira for example, nasaan ba? Wala. Si Dianne? Wala ilang taon na na hindi ko nakikita. Si Rand, si Daryl, si Bryan at si Kevin... ni hindi ko pa mga nakakainuman ngayong taon na ito. Mabuti nga kahit papaano nakasama ko pa si Alot sa binyagan ng anak niya noong fiesta eh.

Pero masaya pa rin ako kasi kahit hindi ko nakakasama si JS, eh mahal na mahal niya ako. Nakakatawa nga eh. Hindi ko siya kababata. Hindi ko siya kapit bahay. Hindi ko siya kaklase noong highschool, elementary or college. Wala basta nagkakilala kami noong mga panahon na pareho kaming sobrang passionate sa theater. Nagkasama kami sa isang workshop at hidni ako participant nung workshop. As in wala talagang common denominator na institutional para magka bond kami only our love for the performing arts. Hindi ko nga alam na magkaibigan na kami until noong tapos na ang OJT ko sa CCP tapos nagkikita pa rin kami. Yun na... alam ko na na magkaibigan kami. Basta, hindi namin alam kung kelan nagumpisa. Nagulat na lang kami super close na kami.



Tinanggap ako ni JS sa lahat lahat kahit hindi niya ako kaklase o ka-org. Yung mga kababawan ko sinasakyan niya at yung mga malalalim kong ideas pilit din niyang inintindi althouh hindi namin napaguusapan si Lara Faye kasi sasapakin ako nun sa katangahan ko. Yung mga dugo namin parang connected by the arts. Parehas kasi kaming taong-teatro kaya nagkakaintindihan kami at extrovert din kasi kami pareho. Kahit sino kilala si JS sa UST. Grabe yun. Ang laki ng bag niya may dala siyang kahit ano kulang na lang martilyo. At sobrang love siya ng teatro tomasino. Ako naman naging kapamilya nila dahil pasok ako ng pasok sa usteh dahil nga dinadalaw ko si JS at si Richard. Si Chard naman kahit na minsan si kami nagkita sa UST. Tuwing andun ako wala siya. Ay one time pala noong naka duty siya sa hospital. Birthday kasi ni JS ngayon kaya puro kay JS. One time magsusulat ako tungkol kay Chad at paglalaruan ko siya dito sa blog ko hahaha.... Malakas sa akin yang dalawang yan. Make that three kasi may Myqeen pa although she comes from a different world. Noong una taka ako kasi UST sila 3 pero iba si Myqeen. Now I finally understood. But just the same lahat sila precious sa akin. Mas mataas lang talaga ang level ng friendship namin ni JS.

Kung ipapanganak kami ulit. Gusto ko magkaibigan ang mga parents namin tapos lalaki kami na magkasama para siya talaga ang best friend ko. Sigurado idol niyan si Ma'am Jem [Puna], third year adviser ko. Magkamukha sila eh. Gusto ko para kaming si Bogs at si Mia. Puwede akong maligo sa kanila kasi may damit ako sa kuwarto niya. May mga pictures kami sa wall ng kuwarto ko. Ganun? At may kakampi ako kapag andyan sila lahat. Siyempre pag inulit ang panahon perfect na. Hindi na ako ganito kapayat. Pero kahit na ganito pa rin mas masaya na kasi may kakampi ako sa lahat ng oras. I am not saying na kulang si Dianne noon. Kaso minsan kasi siya pa ang pauna sa asaran eh. Nagtampo? Hay.. si JS ang magaayos sa akin kung liligawan ko na si Faye. Todo suporta talaga. pero siguro maiiba din ang buhay namin. Hindi ganito.

Siguro nga ito ang perfect. Hindi naman namin kailangan lumaki ng magkasama. Hindi namin kailangang maging elementary classmates; maging magkapartner sa kasal ni Tita Beth, magkapartner sa sta cruzan, magkapartner sa grad ball para masabing best friends kami. Mas sweet nga kasi very unusual kung paano ang isang kalog na Krystala ng UST at ang baritone audioslave na tulad ko ay naging non-biological siblings.

Siguro gumawa lang ng paraan ang tadhana para mabawi ko kay JS lahat ng respect na hindi ko naibigay kila Kristine, Krystel at siyemrpe kay Genevie. Ang sarap pala pag mahal na mahal ka ng isang babae hindi dahil sa anumang romantic na namamagitan sa inyo. Yung parang sandalan mo lang talaga. Very genuine, very immaculate, walang bahid ng kamalisyahan at sobrang walang sablay. Oo na oo na, nanunuod ako ng perfect Match... pero hindi ganoon yung buhay ko. Hindi ko kailangan magpanggap na bakla para tanggapin ni JS.

I just have to be me.

Eh kaya naman pala very smooth kung dinadala ang sakit ng pagsagot ni Faye kay Ronel eh. I have a perfect support system. May Mom ako na over caring, tita na sobrang sweet, barkada na ubod ng saya, at andyan pa si JS. Why do I always look for persons na wala. Samantalang buong buo pa ang iba. Siguro kaya wala si Dan para maa-preciate ko na andyan sila Vicoy, si Alger, si Raprap. Siguro kaya wala si Dianne para malaman ko na andyan si JS. At siguro kaya wala si Lara Faye [pero sana dumating pa rin siya] para malaman ko kung paanong andyan lang si Mama all my life.

Ako muna, then until the time I am ready saka ko hahanapin yung tamang babae. Puwede naman na si Lara Faye pa rin yun. Pero puwede ring hindi. Dapat maging bukas ako dun. Sabi nga sa "Miss You Like Crazy" ; time is meaningless when you are in love.
Kung naantay nga nila ang five years at nagkita pa rin sila after all na munting nang maikasal, ano pa kaya kung antayin ko si Faye. Pero kung hahayan kong makulong lang dun yung buhay ko, I might miss something so important.

Wala kaming assurance ni Faye kasi isa lang yung nagmamahal. It is a myth to believe na babalik siya because my love for her is a magnet that pulls her back. I have to go on. Andyan lang sila, ang circle of friends and supporters. They won't let me down. JS won't let that happen.

I am so grateful I have a friend like this person. At tama lang na magcelebrate ako dahil today is the day na iniregalo siya sa akin.





So to my non-biological sister,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am missing you extremely!

Welcoming First Advent Sunday

My favorite color is indigo. Next to that is mauve. Next to mauve is lilac. All these three comes from one family color. They are all combination of red and blue primary colors. Red is love and anger while blue is serenity and indifference. These color can symbolize both War and Peace.

Today we mark the first Sunday of the Advent season. The color of Advent is violet. Advent is not about war and peace. It is about waiting for the Lord. It is about waiting. A normal scenario of human life. We are bombarded by so much waiting and waiting. When you are at the MRT station. When you are alone and supposed to meet someone. When you are too young to have a girlfriend. When you are a second year high school who wants to wear a toga. When it is not the right time for something. You always wait. I always wait. We all wait for something, sometime.

Advent is about waiting for the second coming and making present also the waiting for the baby Jesus born of Mary--for Christmas.

Every time i encounter the word waiting I remember a quotation from a book i read long time ago. It says and I quote;

Waiting is surrendering to God who loves us and who knows what is best for us. Waiting helps us grow in virtue. It likewise means allowing things, events, and people to flourish, to evolve, to emerge to their fullest potential.

--A Matter of the Heart p.57
by Fr Jose Aripio
Provincial Superior of SSP Phil.-Macau province

Let us focus and contemplate to this.

Waiting is surrendering to God. Everyone during Advent is invited to surrender their whole heart and soul to God. If by waiting we mean preparation for the coming of Christ, we cannot be prepared enough unless otherwise we surrender to God. Saint Paul in the second reading teaches us that we should turn away from drunkenness and other promiscuous activities.

Waiting helps us grow in virtue. When you wait you always thought that time is wasted. instead of doing something, you are spending it for waiting which for most of us is an idle activity. But while you are waiting for something God also gives you time to hope for something. Hope cannot be realized when you do not wait. You can only hope when there is something unknown in the future and you wait for it. That makes waiting very very precious. It gives you an opportunity to be hopeful. While you wait you're etiquette is also tested by fire. you will be able to gauge how much you believe in something and cling for a certain conviction. Waiting strengthens your fundamental beliefs whether you notice it or not. Lastly, the very least virtue you can improve on while waiting is patience. By being patient you learn to relax and avoid hurrying. Being patient is a sign of a clam Christian and a dignified one.

Waiting is allowing things to evolve and emerge to their fullest potential. Whenever I am asked whether as a Christian I believe in Evolution I say yes. I believe that God did not really create everything in 7 days. 7 days is very symbolic and it can mean 7 years or 7 centuries even. God allows creation to evolve. God is never in a hurry because He has no time limit. He is eternal. I believe that when you pray, God may sometime answer it late because there nothing late in the viewpoint of God. God simply wants us to wait. In waiting you can enjoy things you might not enjoy if everything is instant and that is what we call serendipity. Hurrying is not a virtue and not even an act of a dignified individual. A learned Christian knows how to wait for his turn.

Surely you can wait until Christmas...

Verbs That Cuddle Natural Leaders

We need to admit that there are natural leaders. Their instinctive capacity for leadership is exceptional. Pero kahit na ganun, we can still learn from them. yung mga gaya namin... trained leaders.

Ang mga natural leaders hindi na kailangang mag seminar para sa leadership effectiveness nila. They breath leadership like fresh air. Pero sa mga kagaya namin we have to learn what makes them extraordinary. Some of these qualities are the verbs which they employ.

1. Leaders Exemplify. Ang isang tunay na leader ay hindi basta turo ng turo or dada ng dada. lagi siyang gumagawa at sa pamamagitan ng pagiging isang modelo nagagawa niyang mapasunod sa vision niya lahat ng nasasakupan niya.

2. A Leader Unifies. Ang mga magkakahiwalay na detalyo, pinagtatagpu-tagpo yan ng isang leader. Ang mga magkakahiwalay na ideyalismo ng mga miyembro ng isang team o organization ay pinagsasamasama niya or nire-reconcile.

3. A Leader Amplifies. Siguro isa na sa pinaka da best na gawain ng leaqder ay ang paunlarin ang pagkatao ng mga miyembro niya. Ang mga members kasi kaya yan sumusunod sa leader ay dahil may gusto silang ma-accomplish kasabay ng pagsunod nila rito. Kailangan mapunan niya ang individual growth na yun expected by each member. Sigurado effective siya pag nagawa niya yun kasi hirap ako dun.

4. A Leader Edifies. Matapos ang lahat ng ito, kailangan may naitatatag na pagbabagong institutsyunal ang isang leader. Magandang idea pero maraming pinuno sablay dito. Efforts are needed mula sa members at leader para maisakatuparan ito. Mahalaga ito kasi minsan ito ang hahanapin ng mga visionaries na gusto mag join sa organization.

So these four and if there are others, forgive me for the lack of given time.

For those interested to attend my seminar-workshops for leadership;

You can contact me
+639202938352
or send message to me at
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Paul-Chirstian-Caparos/200869499853?v=info

Her Awesome Beauty Struck Everyone

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
--Oscar Wilde

Kahapon, wala sana ko gagawin at magtutulog lang. Never knew na magiging reunion pala namin ng dalawa sa mga barkada. Nagkita kami ni Regine noong hapon at ganoon din ni Kenechi.

Noong hapon kasi habang nasa gitna ako ng kuwentuhan, nainform kami na may taping na nagaganap sa patyo. So I went there together with some. Nakita ko meron nga. Taping pala yun ng Sabel. An ABS CBN teleseries which stars Jessie Mendiola and AJ Perez. Sa tingin ko malapit na iyong magsimula kasi lumabas na ang teaser nito kagabi lamang.

Nag excursion ang mga mata ko sa kaputian ni Jessie Mendiola. I must say na napakaganda niya talaga. She looks different when in person. Ang buhok niya ay tulad ng mermaid at hindi yung ilong niya parang sa manekin sa SM Department Store. Maliit lang siya pero minsan iisipin mo na hindi siya Pilipino.

I think she started as a model. Tapos naging cast sa iba't ibang teen shows ng ABS under the Star Magic managent. Now it is hightime she owns her own program. Ang hirap din pala ng trabaho niya. Yun ang work na kailangan ka titigan ng maraming tao habang ginagawa mo. Sanay na rin sila. Although hindi ko alam kung gusto ko iyon. Hindi ka makaka concentrate sa dialogue mo kapag ang daming nanonood. Totally unlike music performances na talagang para panuorin ng live.

Nothing compares to the beauty of the princess of prime time TV. Malayo pa ang lalakbayin ni Jessie para matapatan niya yun. This girl is the 403rd tax payer in the Philippines, none other than, Kimberly Sue Yap Chiu, also known as simply Kim Chiu.

Next Saturday, lalabas siya sa Wansapanataym as Super Kikay with the flying tortoise. Next Sunday naman maguumpisa na ang sarili niyang series ng Your Song Presents Kim. Matatandaang lumabas na siya sa Sunday clip na ito just this year kasama si Ai Ai De Las Alas with "Maling Akala" but this time solo niya.

I admit I was struck when I saw Jessie Mendiola pero mas na starstruck ako noong first time ko makita si Kimberly Sue sa SM last January sa red carpet primer.

Well both of them are beautiful. It really depends kung anong taste ng tao. Subjective ang beauty it is in the eye of the beholder accoording to cliche.

Thirty Days Before Christmas

Last year, on this day I was in Manila. I don't remember why pero nagpunta ako ng Manila. A simple Wednesday with matching sinat pa nga. This day si so special for me and I don't know why. Noong 2003, simpleng araw lang naman siya. Wala kaming pasok on a Tuesday. Pumunta ako noon sa Liliw para magkita nga kami ni Sheshu. ero pumunta muna ako sa may Taykin kasi doon noon nakatira sila Lola. Gusto ko lang makita noon yung mga pamangkin ko. Umuulan noon. After a while pumunta na rin ako kay Sheshu [Jejomar].

Hinintay ko siya matapos maglaro sa internet shop tapos kumain kami ng pasta. Naulan pa rin. Gusto niya pumunta kami kina Queenie Mariz. Pata na patay si jejomar noon kay Quaz. Ako naman siyempre hindi nagbago... kay Faye lang atalg kahit noon. Buong umaga magkasam kami lumalakad sa mga streets ng Liliw. Haha.. ang saya.

Tapos naalala ko na pupunta pala ako kila Bryan Coroza para hiramin yung CD ng Linkin Park sikat kasi noon yung "Numb". Pumunta ako noon mga bandang 10:30am tapos umuwi na ako. Ay hindi pala. Sumakay lang ako ng jeep para iwan na si Sheshu at ang Liliw pero pumunta pa ako noon sa San Pablo. Kahit may banta pa na lalakas ang ulan.

Magisa lang ako noon. Ihahnap ko kasi ng gift si Rizzel para sa bday niya. Hay... ayun tapos umulan nga., Wala pang SM noon kaya sa San pablo Mall lang ako ang ikot. Masaya ko kapag naaalala ko yun. Kahit nga hindi ko nakita at nakasama noon si Faye, parang ganun pa rin ang pakiramdam ko noon. Hoping na one year makakasama ko siya on that date. Pero hanggang ngayong araw na ito November 25 ulit, wala pa rin siya.

Nakakainggit talaga si Ronel. Siya ang kasama ngayon ni Lara Faye kahit hindi naman niya ito minahal noon. For the first time naranasan ko na rin ang masaktan ng sobra. Yung hindi mo alam kung saan mo lalagyan ng bond aid kasi hindi mo alam kung saan yung sugat at saan nanggagaling yung pagdurugo. Alam natin na hindi sa katawan yun.

Ok pa rin naman. Masaya ang araw na ito kahit maulan. I wish I will have more of these to celebrate next years. 2006 noong makita ko siya sakay ng van nila. Masaya ako noon at umuulan ulit. Sa Liliw yun. Ang saya. At ang ganda niya.

Sana when the time comes... mai-celebrate namin ang date na ito. Kahit hindi maging kami.

Explosive November

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

These are the words from Katy Perry's hot single "Fireworks" at chart topper ngayon. Parang last year lang, apat na kanta ang nagpapatalbugan sa iTunes noong November; Two is Better than One ni Taylor Swift at ng Boys Lyk Girl, One Less Lonely Girl ni Justin Bieber, Down ni Jay Sean, at New Perspective ng Panic at the Disco.

Now it is November of 2010 at masasabi ko na parang sobrang explosive yata ng mga songs for this month. Kasi last october nagsimula na ngang sumikat ang kanta ni Katy Perry which I mentioned above [Well anyway may kanta ba xa na hindi sumikat for this year?] na sumisikat na ngayong November at hindi malayong mapasama sa top 100 chart ng year end countdown sa UKchart at Billboard.

Tinabunan ni Katy Perry ang iba pang naglabasang sikat na country folk at pop singer ng 2009 considering 2008 siya nagsimula. Dapat nga mas laos siya pero nasan na nga ba si Leighton Meester, Keshia, at Taylor Swift? Matapos ang twiter pix scandal ni Hallie Williams humina na rin ang eksena ng Paramore. I guess we have anough of Twilight soundtrack dose. Buti pa nga si Charice eh namamayagpag. And speaking of Charice na namamayagpag, may isa pang Filipino singer na hataw na hataw ngayong 2010.

He also made this November very explosive with his wit and talent at lalo na sa single niyang "Grenade". I am talking of no other than the Paragon Half Filipino RNB singer na si BRUNO MARS. He is my new pick. My favorite who I waited for the longest time now.

Grabe ang galing nito si Bruno Mars. Early this year he gave us "Beautiful Girls all over the world..." remember that, Nothing On You. Kasam niya dun si BOB na nakasama ni Hallie Williams sa Airplane together with Slim Shady. Later on, sinamahan niya si Travie Macoy na ex ni Katy Perry para kantahin ang famous lines ng "Billionaire". Siya yun baka lang di niyo alam. Pinakilig niya ang mga kababihan with "All She Knows". Muli niya namng sinamahan si BOB sa isnag single kasam rin si Cee Lo noong June lumabas sa Pilipinas, ang The Other Side. Ang ganda nito pero di puamtok sa mga kolehiyala nor sa mga rapper ng Dongalo.

Well, bigla muli siya sumabog in great explosion noong August 15 when the Philipine premiered his most popular solo performance of this year--walang iba kundi--JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Humakot na ito ng katakut takot na hits sa Youtube at nagkaroon ng halos 100 cover video, kasama na ang cover singers at cover ng guitar drums at piano.

Now he is back this November with another explosive.... ang "Grenade" [his latest single]. He makes me proud as a Filipino. Next to Charice he is the best contemporary singer of the Filipino race. And as always I will post the lyrics of his song........


GRENADE by Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, Had your eyes wide open -
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked, Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ; But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had


And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ; But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh You’ d watch me burn down in flames You said you loved me you're a liar Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ; But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

To Consume Less Chocolates

Sometimes when you are feel you are still hungry after the meal, you grasp for the brown sweet thing you always loved--Ang chocolate.

Pero as of this time, I want to eat only the foods that I will never regret eating. A healthy diet is hard to develop specially when you are used with the old ways.

Kaya nga medyo nahihirapan ako as if fasting lahat ng weekdays. I only give myself a break every Saturdays and Sundays. I can have a glass of softdrinks or some sweets or junk foods.

May magandang naidudulot kasi nagkakaroon ng pagbabago sa budget. Hindi na kasi masyado nabili. Yung Toblerone last Satruday galing yun kay Edison. i don't spend much for chocolates nowadays.

Well... let's see kung mapapanindigan ko because just counting the minutes and it will be Christmas time.

That's a lot new story after.

No Storm Above These Clouds

Rain comes from the clouds not from the sky

Hindi umulan ngayong hapon. Salamat naman. Ang hirap kasi. Ayokong umuulan s ahapon. Isipin mo naman instead of watching the sunset lalong nagiging dim ang 4:30-5:30.

The only time of the day na wala kang puwedeng gawin. Hindi ka muna kakain kasi malapit na ang hapunan. Hindi ka matutulog kasi malapit na rin gumabi. Primetime ito ng TV at rush hour ng MRT. Awasan ng mga bata. Kaya most of the time... TAMBAY ang pinaka solusyon sa pagkabagot.

Kapag umulan paano? Kaya ayokong umuulan sa ganitong oras. Ok lang sa gabi para nasa bahay na ang marami. Ok lang sa tangahali para di masyado mainit. Huwag lang sa oras na dapat nanonood ng sunset ang mga lovers.

Parang pagsubok ng buhay ang ulan. Ayaw nating dumating when all are working just fine. Everything falling into places. Kaya nga gusto nating iwasan pero hindi sila under our control.

What you gonna do? Fly above the storms! That's the only way. You ever wonder kapag may turbulence na binabangga ang mga pilot, they always fly above the storm. Ang mga eagle ganun din. Wala kasing pressure sa taas. Dito lang sa baba. Kaya nga ang mga astronouts, they are floating in the exosphere kasi wala na ang gravity. Ano naman ang kinalaman ng physics sa totoong buhay.

Haven't you seen? May mga reflections dapat lahat ng nagaaral ng Physics sa practcial life. Dahil ang physics ay isang practical science. The astronouts represents the hollies. Kpag hindi burdensome ang buhay you float. Gumagaan ang mga banal. Sa baba lang may tensions. Tension 1 at Tension 2 sa baba lang yan. Sa posisyon ng mga COO at CEO, kaunti lang ang naglalaban laban. Sa mga kakaunting mumo nagaagawan ang mga tao sa baba. Hirap ka makakuha ng job sa baba. pero once na nasa taas, kaunti lang ang competition. Actually pina-pirate pa anga ang iba sa taas. Kasi kakaunti sila.

Thing about that. There is no storm you can find after the clouds.

Happy Bachelor

I had a strange feeling while walking along the town plaza kanina. I feel like the center of gravity is in that point. I don't know parang hinihila ako. Naupo ako sa isa sa mga sementadong upuan doon. Just for the heck of it. Sana nga tulad ngayon noong mga bata pa kami. Doon kami naglalaro ng kahit na ano. Tayaan. Sikyo. Tumbang preso. Suntukan. Tapo sinsakyan namin yung mga leon malapit dun sa monument ni Rizal.

Yun yung mga panahon na hindi ako natatakot sa panahon. Mga mama na malaki ang tiyan lang ang kinatatakutan ko. Mga aswang sa kuwento. Hindi ako natatakot sa bukas. hindi rin ako natatakot sa kahapon. Nabubuhay lang ako sa ngayon. Puro present lang ang naiisip ko. Walang inaalala sa kinabukasan, walang tinatakbuhang kahapon.

Iba ang pakiramdam ngayon. Hindi na ako puwedeng dumisplay sa plaza. Matanda na ako eh. Paano kung may makakita sa akin doon kanina. Magisa ako nakaupo. Buti pa yung mga bata puwede pa nga sila humilata doon eh. I wonder if ginawa ko din yun noong bata ako. Nakakita ako ng bata na umiiyak at ngawa lang ng ngawa doon. Inisip ko tuloy kung nagkaganon din ba ako dati.

Nakita ko ang mga batang tinuturuang maglakad ng mga tatay at nanay nila. Suddenly nag flash sa isip ko in an instant lahat yung mga classmates at friends ko noong high school na ngayon ay may asawa at anak na. Starting with Mervin Ramirez, Cyrus Consignado, Margaret Nobleza, Angelica Pomintil, Harvey Baldovino. Ang idol idol ng marami sa pagawit na si Chris Alber Morales, si Angelo Ross Agapay, at napakarami pa.

Siyempre hindi mawawala sa listahan ang perfect amicable twins na si Dianne Carlen Martin at Dan Carlo Bueno. Pareho na silang may baby girl at ninong ako ni Jewel Keshia anak ni Dan.

Ako heto pa rin. A bachelor wandering in this ellipsoid. Ano kaya ang naghihintay sa akin? Alam ko hindi pa rin naman ako ready para maging Daddy. Pero alam ko din na tumatakbo ang oras. Malaki ang advantage nila Dan at Chris dahil masusubaybayan nila ang anak nila. Plus hindi malayo ang age brakcs nila. Magkakasundo sila sa taste. Puwede pa nila maabutan ang mga apo nila kung tutuusin. Disadvantages para sa isnag taong late nagka anak ang kabaligtaran ng mga nabanggit.

Why was I stuck? Hindi ko alam kung miinis ako na hinayaan kong maiipit na lang ako sa buhay na pinili ko noon. Bakit nga ba hinayaan ko na kay Lara Faye lang umikot ang mundo ko for how many years hanggang sa maging masakit na kapag ile-let go siya. Kahit na from 2005 nakakareceive na ako requests from Mytz at Jhona na bitiwan ko na yung nararamdaman ko kay Faye.

Hindi ko rin alam kung magiging proud ako kasi bihira na ang lalaki na gumagawa ng nagagawa ko. Pursuing Lara Faye for seven years... hindi biro yun. Ni hindi naman kami nagkakasama for that long years. Nakikita ko lang siya once in a while at walang assurance na kapag tinanong ko siya ng "___" ay sasagot siya ng OO.

Unfair kung magaasawa ako. Kung pipilitin kong mahinog ang hilaw. Kawawa ang babaeng magiging asawa ko kung hindi ako handa para mahalin siya ng buo. Hindi ako handang maging kabiyak ng sinuman lalo na kung hidni siya si Lara Faye. Magiging tortrue lang s akanya gabi gabi na ang binubulong kong panagalan ay hindi kanya kundi ang walong letrang bumubuo sa pangalan ni Faye. At paano kung hindi sa letrang L nagsisimula ang name niya at ang mga anak namin panay L ang simula ng pangalan. Ano ang isasagot ko?

Siguro may reasons kung bakit hanggang ngayon wala pa akong better half. Siguro hinding hindi pa ako ready financially, physiologically, spiritually, at siguro higit nga sa lahat ay emotionally. I wanna be the best father kais yun ang hindi nagawa ng bio father ko. I wanna be the greatest Dad Leuthor, Lianne, and Lance could ever have. I want to fulfill the prophecy given to me; to find my protege who will make the drastic change in this country or even in the world. Ang dami ko pa ngang aayusin sa buhay ko.

I just have to enjoy and be merry this time. Siguro period of preparation ang lahat ng oras na ito. Huwag kong isipin na sinasayang ko ito. may pagasa pa naman. Who knows, kung talagang matibay ang nararamdaman ko kay Faye, baka maging magnet yun na magpapabalik sa kanya sa akin. Anyway the greatest fulcrum naman is the heart not material things.

There is much to enjoy in life rather than envying the friends who already are fulfilled in life. Who knows if they are convenient? Baka kahit may asawa at anak na sila eh problemado sila. I-enjoy na lang ang mga adavantages of being single. So that when time for marrying comes, hindi ko na hahanapin dahil heto na pinagsawaan ko na. I will remain pure for that lucky woman. Matapos kong pagdaanan lahat ng karma ko sa mag binastos ko dati, na siningil ni Lara Faye, siguro that girl who is coming soon is truly lucky.

Whoever she is... I am waiting for her. I will try my best to be Best pagdating niya.

His Majesty Concludes History

It is so fitting that on this week, the first part finale of Harry Potter comes to a close. The series we all loved since the beginning is now finally coming to an end. So also is the Church's liturgical season drawing to a close. The feast of Christ the King marks the end of the liturgical year and next week will be advent already. In the same way, the Church and the world is also waiting for the second coming when Christ will be ruler and King above all and that is also the end of the terrestrial history.

We all can't wait for that. What is the lesson of today's Gospel? It is partly eschatological and partly ecclessiological. There is a striking line coming from Jesus at the end which is the only line we find Jesus speaking.

"Today you shall be with me in paradise"

He didn't say heaven because the thief cannot enter heaven unless Christ return for the second coming. The thief did not die after but Jesus is truthful when said that. And that line will be the only line He will utter when he comes again. For example, he saw me, Paul you will be with me in paradise. He has nothing to say to those who are mocking him which means he has nothing to tell them when he returns. Only torment and fire awaits them. The abyss is ready! So also is heaven ready to accommodate us!

Jesus is teaching the Church to be more reflective of their sins and ask him to bring us to heaven. The story of the thief inspires us that it is never to late even if you are a sinner. The Church is collectively a clique of sinners working their way to restore the image that was lost in Eden.

Christ is our King!

Talking About Deathly Hallows

"It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well."

--Albus Dumbledore




Alam ko, hindi ko kayang palampasin ang pelikulang ito. Kahit pa nga ba nahati sa dalawang part ang installment ng Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. i know they are going to make up for the unforgivable boredom brought by the previous movie Half Blood Prince.

Madilim pa nung bumangon ako kanina. I can't believe luluwas ako alone to Manila just to watch a movie. How pathetic! And yet I still did. Kahit na wala talag akong makakasama to watch it. Kung magaaya ako ng taga Laguna baka mag libre pa ako para sa meal at sa transpo. Kung ang mga taga Manila naman baka busy sila. Pero aaminin ko ilang beses kong pinagmunimunihan kung ite-text ko ba si JS or si Dimitri or sino man sa classmates ko nung college and OJT barkadas para naman may makasama. Anyway, it is not about my trip. I am top write about how the movie made a little history today. Sa kalalagay lang niyang status sa facebook, Sir John August Pamintuan described Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in the following words and I quote;

I watched Harry potter tonight and found it awfully boring. It had none of the magical kids' stuff that enthralled us before; just drama, drama, drama... for a moment I thought Potter was trying hard to be a vampire, and the director David Yates was trying to shoot Twilight

Sure ako na hindi niya nagustuhan pero ako naman nilagay kong post ay [and I quote again];

Two thumbs up for The Deathly Hallows! The plot is amazing, cinematography spectacular and Emma Watson is damn immaculately stunning...

How was that? Bakit ko nga ba nagustuhan ang movie. Siyempre una sa lahat, kung hindi ko sasabihing gusto ko eh di parang sinayang ko ang pamasahe at mall tour ko alone. Second, mas gusto ko naman talaga si Emma Watson kay Kristen Stewart when it comes to acting portrayal. Third, the movie as much as it could remained faithful to the book.

I even tried surfing the net if there are anybody out there who have the same emancipation as I had. To my surprise meron naman.the Menneapolis Movie Reviews Examiner posted a review about Harry Potter and there I quote;

With superb acting and a strong plot, the movie only pumped the break in a few spots. A scene in which a cartoon portrayed the story of the Deathly Hallows and the directing in a few action sequences wasn’t quite as sharp. Not to say the directing was bad because it was good, it just needed to be tightened up in a few scenes. The other obvious downfall is that the movie is only half of the story and keeps us all wanting more, bothered by not being able to finish in one sitting.

Hindi ko pa nakakausap ang ibang kaibigan patungkol sa movie but I am sure many are dismayed sa ilang part. Hindi naman din ako kasi masyadong technical. Basta ang hanap ko is kung mai-enjoy ko ang movie sa kinauupuan ko o hindi like, wala bang mga interuptions, hindi ba ako gininaw, or maayos ba ang Acoustics ng sinehan. Yun lang naman ang after ako pero sa kabuuan medyo nadala ako ng drama. I am not saying na hindi na ako makahintay until the next screening ng second part sa July 2011, sinasabi ko lang na enjoy talaga panuorin sa big screen ang Harry Potter. If I watched it on TV-DVD, siguro madami ako comment and that is very critical of me.

Paguwi ko sa bahay, finale airing na ng Illumina, a local TV show of the same graphics. My gosh! Why is there so much sorcery in the world? Hindi ba nila alam na bawal yun?

Boxing Ring Lessons

"Boxing is not about killing each other"

Ito ang sagot ni pound for pound king Manny Pacquiao sa isang interview kung bakit daw hindi niya ni-knock out si Margarito matapos niya itong talunin sa Cowboy Stadium kanina lamang. Tunay na isang Filipinong may delikadesa, very humane at professional ang sagot niya.

Na surpass na ni manny ang fame ni Jose Rizal bilang pinakasikat na Filipino sa mundo. Hindi nga lahat kilala si Leah Salonga pero halos buong mundo kilala na siya. Siya ang kaunaunahang tao na may walong sinturon sa larangan ng boxing. Sapat na para sabihin kong tumigil siya at mag concentrate na lang sa public service. He has proven enough. Nakaktakot na baka sa huli pa niyanglaban matalo siya. At magretiro siya kung kailan may sira na rina ng katawan. Tamang tama ito para itigil niya ang boxing at pagtuunan ang pagiging isang international diplomat and celebrity.

Malaki ang maitutulong ng pagkapanalo ni Manny matapos mag deklara ng flight ban ang mga matataas na bansa at humina ang turismo sa Pilipinas. Muling niya itong mapapasigla kung si Leah, Charice at Manny ay kapwa mag eendorso ng bansa sa international arena.

Congratz Manny! Patuloy mo kaming gawing proud...

Everything Else Shall Vanish

Now we are close enough to the end of the liturgical year. We would like to thank Saint Luke for giving us all the Gospel readings from the resume of Ordinary Times up to this Sunday. And since talking about the end, the theme of the liturgy today is also eschatological. What will it be like before the end?

As a recap, last Sunday Jesus taught us that the foci of every Catholic Christians are the heavenly things which are eternal and not the worldly things that are very transitory. Before that the Gospel readings two Sundays ago showed us how Jesus also accepted the repentant publican and how a tax collector who sincerely prayed in the temple is justified. Those readings are very comforting and make us feel light.

Meanwhile, the Gospel reading today may seem to be a little bit shocking and unpleasant. Jesus is certain that nations will indulge in wars. There will again be persecutions of Christians and faithfuls will be brought to courts. That makes it even more inconvenient.

So audacious is Jesus' words that we should take note of the things that are important after all. Search for what is eternal and do not be deceived by what is temporal. We will attempt to see again how this applies to us. Many people are amazes by how the temple is decorated with all majestic jewels and precious stones but Jesus told them that one day no stones will be found over another.

When I was still studying, I often ask myself what this conversation is for. Was it a way for Jesus to initiate His preaching about the end times? But as we go along with our lessons in Synoptic Gospels, I understood that Jesus is actually referring to all temporal attractions. What is your temple? For me it can be a beautiful girl. Jesus is warning each of us that they wont last until the parousia. A beautiful girl will soon grow old and die and all you will find after is dust. A cellphone you are craving for today will soon be outmoded and crashed. Only God can stand the test of time until time itself ceased. As a matter of fact, Jesus wants us to beware because many of the objects today will distract is from loving and worshiping Him.

Many will pretend to be God and Messiah. That can be literally read, that many false prophets will come. However, more than that, many false god will come also. They may appear to be noble causes like love for brothers and families, fight for human rights and equality, campaign for nature restoration and care for ecosystem but they can take us away from God. Many people are so busy working for these advocacies that they even forget to pray and be still, keep quiet, and commune with God. They may forget that while they are restoring the planet earth they are also loosing a place in a new Kingdom, a new Jerusalem. I am not saying that these are bad but while we are pursuing these, make sure we are not neglecting the home of the spirit, our souls. What is the use of rejuvenating a home [habitat] for humanity if in the end you loose the home of God inside you? Our love for God must be on top among all loves. It is prior to our love for family, love for the country, love for virtues, love for the ecosystem. Prior to all ideals and aspirations. Material things may deceive you also playing to be gods. Let us be watchful for the Lord will come like a flash of lightning.

Heavenly Bonds and Faith Defense

We have interesting readings for this Sunday. Once again let us reflect on them.

First Reading 2 Maccabees 7 1 - 2, 9 - 14

1 It happened also that seven brothers and their mother were arrested and were being compelled by the king, under torture with whips and cords, to partake of unlawful swine's flesh.
2 One of them, acting as their spokesman, said, "What do you intend to ask and learn from us? For we are ready to die rather than transgress the laws of our fathers."
9 And when he was at his last breath, he said, "You accursed wretch, you dismiss us from this present life, but the King of the universe will raise us up to an everlasting renewal of life, because we have died for his laws."
10 After him, the third was the victim of their sport. When it was demanded, he quickly put out his tongue and courageously stretched forth his hands,
11 and said nobly, "I got these from Heaven, and because of his laws I disdain them, and from him I hope to get them back again."
12 As a result the king himself and those with him were astonished at the young man's spirit, for he regarded his sufferings as nothing.
13 When he too had died, they maltreated and tortured the fourth in the same way.
14 And when he was near death, he said, "One cannot but choose to die at the hands of men and to cherish the hope that God gives of being raised again by him. But for you there will be no resurrection to life!"

Second Reading 2 Thessalonian 2: 16 - 17 ,3: 1 - 5

16 Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace,
17 comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

1 Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed on and triumph, as it did among you,
2 and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men; for not all have faith.
3 But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from evil.
4 And we have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things which we command.
5 May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.

Gospel Reading Luke 20: 27 - 38

27 There came to him some Sadducees, those who say that there is no resurrection,
28 and they asked him a question, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies, having a wife but no children, the man must take the wife and raise up children for his brother.
29 Now there were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and died without children;
30 and the second
31 and the third took her, and likewise all seven left no children and died.
32 Afterward the woman also died.
33 In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will the woman be? For the seven had her as wife."
34 And Jesus said to them, "The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage;
35 but those who are accounted worthy to attain to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage,
36 for they cannot die any more, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.
37 But that the dead are raised, even Moses showed, in the passage about the bush, where he calls the Lord the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.
38 Now he is not God of the dead, but of the living; for all live to him."


Commentary

The first reading gives us a clear yet simple lesson. The pagan king is only after the eradication of Israelite religious conduct. By eating pork meat the Israelite will symbolically renounce their bond to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Some experts say that it is because of the pagans' envy to Israelite nation for they have a high religious and ethical standards when it comes to worshiping only one God while the pagan world worships several gods. More over, the conducts and practices of the gentiles are considered dirty and immodest to the Jews.

The first reading is very parallel to the main theme of the Gospel in some very reflexive details. Meanwhile, let us focus our attention on the second reading. This letter from Saint Paul to the Thessalonians serves as an exhortation or a plea for prayer. He is reminding this Church to act in accordance to how a body/community of people waits for the coming of Christ. Again this is addressed to the elders of Catholic Church but everyone of us can be ministers of God's Word. Maybe because these people are being deceived by or a force coming from the outside is offering them a new lesson which is a case similar to the first reading.

A religious stance being challenged and how Christians should face it. That statement best summarizes the three readings with their least common denominator. In the first reading, the Israelites were put to test by the king who wanted them to eat pork meat. In the second reading, Saint Paul reminds the Thessalonians to be steadfast even amidst the confusion about the second coming of the Lord. In today's Gospel we see our very Lord Jesus Christ being challenged by a different belief. A religious stance tested. The Lord shows us how to deal with traps laid by unbelievers who today we are surrounded of. In a very salient point, the Lord described the Catholic Church and the members of His body. They are the people not aspiring only to be husbands nor wives. They are the people who are even willing to be angels. Hence, the Catholic Church is the "City of God" as described by Saint Augustine. A city of God where the living people resides. Our God is a god of the living and not of the dead. Jesus referred to Him as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. who are all alive in heaven even if their bodies died. Jesus here is pointing that Christians' lives are not determined nor governed by bodily concerns but rather lives of the souls waiting to be in heaven one with the saints and the patriarchs. Marriage is dissolved when both parties' bodies died. Jesus wants us to think of heavenly things aside from earthly. Not only are we to aspire being fully human who have a wife, a child, a family but to aspire becoming angels. Angels do not have genders. They are neither males nor females. In heaven we will all be like that.

Application

To take a stand for ones faith when shaken by unbelievers. This is one of the two practical lessons I want to high light. To courageously defend our faith is not an impossible act. The readings gave us concrete examples of how Biblical characters protected it. Last Monday we commemorate the lives of all the Saints of the Catholic Church, they are testaments of how faithful Christians fought with all their lives for holiness and what they believe.

Second, the Holy Catholic Church in today's liturgy wants us to learn that a truly spiritual person is not after the things of this world. The seven brothers and their mother in the book of Maccabees valued their spirit rather than their stomach and physical comfort. They are willing to tortured and endure the pain rather than suffer in heaven. Saint Paul invited the Thessalonians to pray. To pray is a spiritual act. Saint wants us to focus on prayer life more than the things of this world. The Gospel reading is most of all teaching is that marriage, a worldly bond, is nothing compared to our bond with God. Our priority in this life being Christians, is not to marry but to do good.