Show Them How to Do It

In Matthew 19 verse 16 onward we can find a quite interesting story of a man who came up to Jesus and asked "Teacher, what must I do to obtain eternal life?" to which Jesus answered "If you want to enter eternal life, keep the commandments" a vague answer I believe Jesus intended to be. The conversation went as planned by Jesus. The man replied that he keeps the commandment religiously since his childhood. Too proud indeed of him to say so so. Jesus finally gave his main answer to the question --- go sell your wealth and gave it to the poor then follow me. The young man left feeling low and dissatisfied because he has many possessions and cannot afford to lose it all.


In this short encounter of Jesus and the rich young man I have understood that every young man needs to be guided towards eternal life. Unless this is done, they will keep on wandering and stay out of focus to the real meaning of life. They will grow old in disappointment and anxiety.

Almost 90 percent of children who enter into grade school are clueless about life. It is totally acceptable. Children of ages 7 to 13 are not expected to understand nor ask philosophical matters concerning life and meaning. The elementary education was designed to offer a menu list of interests and areas of learning. The child will later on in one’s life decide which path among these disciplines to choose. The role of the teachers then is not simply to teach and promote areas of learning to pupils but also to cultivate proper decision making, self-discovery, employment of passion, and the desire to commit oneself in call to personal mission.

As early as grade school days, a child must be guided to find a reason to live. It doesn’t have to be solidly grounded on philosophical approach; rather candidly, the child must be nurtured in environments which display care, affection, and involvement. This part of a teacher’s job is what we call Mentoring. As a matter of fact, and I won’t lie to you, Mentoring is a big word. The connotation is that mentoring begins in late high school days or more popularly, college days. For some, who are really late in blooming, it can be at the on start of one’s career. However, after being a part of a grade school institution implementing a high standard for excellence, it dawned on me that Mentoring must be introduced as early as a child’s elementary education stage. The exposure to academic subjects remains the core of the teaching profession but also remember that the formation of their personal traits and integrity is more paramount.

This idea of honing character hand-in-hand with the intellect cannot be more evident than in today’s world. I have seen how different is the speed of cognitive enhancement taking place in today’s children more than it was twenty years ago. The presence of technological devices and easy access to global communication brought about by on line and on air media platforms contributed to this advanced intellectual capacity of millennial pupils. In line with these firsthand experiences supported by clinical and sociological researches, I can actually say that the inclusion of Mentors in a child’s growing up years is already a necessity more than just a luxury.

In America, and now even in the Philippines, one of the most intriguing deficiencies in the field of education is that students do not know who to believe. Even teachers themselves are losing plausible and salient credibility. Children’s primordial need in any learning facility is someone to believe. In my opinion, a Mentor is the most qualified person to believe in as far as childhood life is concerned. A mentor’s credibility surpasses the relative credibility of parents and family members since that a mentor is intellectually and educationally sound. A mentor, being non-relative of the child by blood must justly and objectively call the attention of a child in both positive and negative behavior. A mentor surpasses the benefits provided by friendly relationship since that childhood friendship is limited to classmates and playmates. The goal of friendship is companionship and camaraderie while mentoring is after the progressive human and personal development.

The sad fact is that the education sector often compromises this calling in lieu of professional respects. Due to the goal of calibrating teaching standards, personal mentoring which is mostly done through confidential relationship of the student and the teacher, is impeded. Each scholastic institution must conform to education laws and curricular prerequisites mandated by the government agencies such as the Department of Education, Department of Science and Technology, and even the Commission on Higher Education on the part collegiate education. Yes, even in college.

It is highly laudable that few academic institutions were able to manage complying with professional standards and at the same time attend to the vocational aspect of schooling which is to provide personal guidance to students particularly to those who might need special mentoring treatment. Nonetheless, it is not always the case. The education system by itself cannot be complete. It can only do so much. The child is first of all a son or a daughter. Their prime habitat is the home and not the school. Whatever effort the school tries to provide, if the lack of parental supervision opposes the process, then the child will not experience the maximum expected result. The formation in the household becomes a real scholastic partner instrument. If the parents, for any matter physical or intellectual, cannot perform the partnership role to their children then it is high time that we consider looking for a personal mentor.

In finding a mentor, let me suggests the following criteria and precautions;

First, it is more efficient that parents hire a mentor without definite tasking. In short, the relationship is personal and relational. Let the mentor occupy the place of a nanny, a grandparent, a teacher, a guard and a neighbor. This is the stage of Building Trust and Confidence. Always remember that the mentor is dealing with a pupil who is not entering teenage years yet. This very crucial and delicate relationship that parents are allowing the Mentor to build with their children is to be dealt with utmost vigilance and prudence. Hence, it is important that the following requirements are met before hiring a professional coach or mentor to supervise and affect a child’s growing years. Below are some of the criteria in finding a mentor;

Capacity --- Ask yourself; is this mentor competent enough to be my child’s mentor? Does this mentor possess knowledge and skills which will enable the child to learn in an environment of eminence and notoriety?

Integrity --- A mentor can be a pro or a diva in a particular field but that is not enough. It is also vital that your pre-selected mentor possesses righteous character and utmost responsibility over the vocation to which he or she responded. Fear of God carries a heavy weight in this section. Obviously, Filipino parents would want a godly mentor to hone their children.

Versatility --- The issue of commitment and competence are also aided by the ability of the chosen mentor to adapt in a certain system, norm, religious affiliation, ethnicity, generation, and cultural upbringing. Is this mentor willing to stretch his timeframe or his method in a way that will customize to the need of the child? Remember always that a formal schooling can provide a standardized method of learning which means, we are looking now at personal attention and pedantic coming from the child’s mentor.

These three abovementioned qualities are just the most fundamental criteria that every parent should look for in a home room mentor. It is quite a crucial role to entrust a person who is not even a relative so there are varied things that a parent must consider other than those three qualities. Again, this mentor is not an academic tutor and not even a sports coach. This personal mentor will be a formator of character and intellect. This mentor will act as an elder friend who will be involved in almost all dealings of a child’s life. In doing so, I am proposing that the mentor applies a Holistic Approach to Mentoring.

Holistic Mentoring is the type of mentoring which aims to provide a balanced program for growth in all aspects of human living. The primordial duty of holistic mentors is to ensure that no dimension of a child’s personal life will be left behind and design a workable coaching program which develops each aspect of human personality all at a time. We need a complete package personality for our child. This is not to undermine the fact that there is a specific gift distributed by God in every person. On the contrary, holistic mentoring widens the horizon of the child in order for that child to maximize all knowledge and skills that may contribute to that specific natural God-given ability. Holistic Mentoring is a win-win application.

Holistic Mentoring is biblical. This type of mentoring approach is patterned after the growth of Jesus as a young human person. In Luke 2 verse 52, Jesus was described to be a young man who grew up in age and wisdom in favor of God and men. First, Jesus grew in age which means he grew physiologically and biologically. He attended to all his bodily needs and matured in stature. Second, Jesus grew in wisdom which means he nourished his intellect too. He studied and learned language, culture, and craft. Jesus also grew up in a godly manner. It was said that he aged in favor of God and lastly in favor of man which means he knows how to relate to others. Jesus, therefore, is a holistically developed person, who is complete in his bio-physiological, intellectual, socio-emotional, and spiritual aspects.

The same type of growth is expected to those who want to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. Holistic development is a prerequisite for a person to love God completely. When Jesus was asked, in Mark 12 verses 28-30, by the scribe as to which among the commandments is the greatest, Jesus replied “Hear oh Israel, you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength.” To love God requires the totality of one’s being. The Bible recognizes that the human person is composed of these four essential faculties. May it be in Jesus’ personal life or in the commandment which Jesus posed for his disciples to follow, the importance of a balanced and complete personal development is vivid in the Gospel. So much so, the type of mentoring needed by everyone is a holistic type of mentoring. Mentoring for specific subject or area of development comes secondary. Every parent must be concerned not only of the academic performance of the child in school but also on how the child relates to others, how the child grows in physique form and in fitness, and more importantly on how the child maintains a personal consciousness of God’s presence in daily affairs.

The same thing must be true with the school curriculum and facility. It doesn’t mean that because a school is not a Christian or a religious affiliated school it will stop introducing the virtue of godliness. Communal worship and prayer life must also be thought of any school regardless of political and commercial reservations. The school must be innovative in their projects for nutrition and wellness. Sports facilities and equipment must be secured inside the campus premises. Artistic league and musical organizations are also advised to be included. It doesn’t mean that every student must be part of all these activities and competitions but the mere presence of these agencies and observance to how things are being done gives the student the desire to explore even on their own about those areas of life. It gives them a sense that participation to these departments is highly encouraged. And this is where the role of a personal mentor or parent comes in. When the child demand for a personal touch of those aspects of life and yet not ready to do it in the school setting, the home can become a safer workshop. Later, it is the mentor who will help the child discover upon thorough evaluation which among these crafts suit the child most. This is what we call as Career Path Endorsement.

It becomes clearer at this point that the agenda following all these ideas is to expose the child to all possible choices as early as grade school years so that when teenage years occur, the youngster already have a hierarchy of interests which allows him or her to save plenty of time because there is prioritization of schedules, money and efforts. It is because of this very salient point that I proposed in an informal gathering of educators including Attorney Aldrin Mark Quintana of Centro Escolar University and Professor Alex Ian Chavez STI College Pasay, a renewal of a vintage mentoring method which is called Shadow Discipleship. Once the student already made a decision to pursue a certain area of learning or field of interest, the teacher or coach will devote time to keep the mentee within a period of observation. The mentor will be doing the same routine and all the student has to do is to watch and keep observing the process on how things are done until the time one is ready to do so. In short, the mentee becomes a shadow.

The Shadow Method, I believe is the matriarch of today’s internship program. However, scholastic system has made internship a rather sophisticated collegiate program and focused on making a student more involved in the workplace rather than being a spectator of a prodigy. I always believe that exposure is not just blending a person in a particular machinery. Exposure is a process which begins by;

1. Perception --- the process always begin by seeing it through the naked eye.

2. Conversation --- listening and talking to people who do the work before actually delving into the work itself. It is a form of gathering information.

3. Recollection --- the time to process all information and sort out all the necessary experiences, keep it in memory and dispose the unnecessary remembrances.

Once true exposure already happened, the young one is 80% ready to do the field work. It is not a hundred percent guarantee because there has to be some extra space left for other concerns that may be unique in each cases. However, showing the people how to do it is almost as good as a hundred percent success. Three institutions ought to go hand-in-hand to make all these happen; the home, the school, and the holistic mentor. Everyone needs to be open to the ever changing ways of development specially in the formation of millennial character. As in the lyrics from a Whitney Houston song “…show them all the beauty they possess inside”, it is our duty to be optimistic about our children-student-mentee so that at the end we can “let them lead the way”.