"The date was 01-01-11 and I saw the number 1 woman of my life. To love her is the dominant urge I have in me. I cannot be anybody other than who I was that evening."
Dahil na rin sa hindi pa ako nakakagetover sa nangyari noong January 1, I decided to post na lang a letter to her.
After Your New Year's Gift
Matagal-tagal na rin mula nang magpasya akong kalimutan ka. Mula nang bitiwan ko ang pagasa... na magiging tayo pa. Kahit mahirap pinilit kong magawa subalit heto ka, nagbabalik at alam mong kayhirap mong malimutan. Ang mali ko lang ay mahalin ang isang babae nang lubos.
To think about is the last thing I must do. Yet the hardest thing is to deny I am thinking of you. How many times do I have to suffer from this dilemma? Please tell me, I wanna know. Who else is there to surpass your beauty? No one else. Or I just have to try and look from another vantage point.
Spending that afternoon with you. A simple wish I might ask myself to risk but never did. I know it is right not to be by your sight anymore. I know it will do us good to be apart. The only problem is every inch I take to be away, I am hurting my very soul. The further I am from you, the lonelier I become.
This I have to endure. I know the price is greater. I know that after this, I will be happier than yesterday. Maybe not as happy as when I met you but still happy because I let you go with your own peace and freedom. And eventually, I too will be free from the prison I myself edified.
Where will you be tomorrow? I do not know. Even if I want to, I will pretend I do not care. For only you and your memory can set me free from this heartache. Forgetting you is the best way to ease the pain and to do you good. To let you live a life without worrying about me or what next step I will take. Still I wish you the best of what life has to offer. Still I am hopeful for all grandeurs you absolutely deserve. To posit everything you testify and to foster a heart that will be there to protect you and not inflict you any harm.
I am always yours. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But if ever there is a slightest chance I can prove this love. I won't hesitate to come to you and make you feel.
Ganyan ka sa akin. Mahalaga. Sana mapahalagahan mo kahit katiting sa mga nagawa ko. Sana may pagkakataon na pagdating ng tamang panahon, hindi man ngayon, maayos lahat gaya noong bago tayo nagkausap.
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Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!
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